So, how do you write?

Just some thoughts.

Has anyone ever advised you to re-word lines in your poem, making you feel uncomfortable? Do you write as you please or do you follow stringent methods that have become second nature to you? 

In the site's help section, there are tips for getting reviews. The final tip states "Write well. In the end, good writing trumps all." 

On this site, that is not always true. 

There are various reasons people sign up to free writing sites. Not everyone is concerned with rules like punctuation, meter, form, and other factors.  

How many just want to spill their unhappiness on the page? 

How many are loners who want to talk even if there's no answer?

How many have their own reasons for writing the way they do and would rather not get suggestions from others?

And how many wrote poems with obvious spelling errors and have still received favorable reviews?   

Would someone, intent on releasing their feelings in one sitting, void of revisions, perceive the fact that the rhythm is off in someone's poem? Notions and attitudes of what poetry should be, don't always pan out when browsing around the site. 

If you consider yourself a vehement spokesman for rules, happy to show results of having such knowledge...good on you. There are many similar-minded individuals who study poets and understand the structure and mechanisms behind what they write. They help keep the integrity of a long-standing art intact. 

However, there's no doubt you've seen many individuals who are not interested in such discipline. Formatting, metaphors, and grammar mean little when their main interest lies in emotions and expressing them in any way that avoids counting syllables, accents, lines or any method of study. Imagine then, offering suggestions under the assumption that they want to learn or be corrected. How determined do you think they'll be to correct any errors you point out? 

Intentions and assumptions have the potential to lead to unintended consequences. I learned this lesson when I offered advice plus another version of someone's poem I thought might give it more rhythm. I did this through a private message some time ago. I intended to help. I falsely assumed they would be grateful...I was wrong. They replied with an angry tone, uninterested in any future ideas I may offer.

I was naive. 

Pointing out spelling mistakes in someone's title seems fine. But go farther than that without being asked and you run the risk of wasting your time. You cannot assume they've been waiting for someone to come along and solve their writing problems. 

Case in point. How often have you read "ignore the grammar and spelling" in the author's notes? 

Does that mean, I don't care about the technical side of writing, I just want to know if you liked my story? 

Does it mean, I'll learn the technical side after I know I affected people with my poem first? 

Does it mean, I'll learn all that grammar stuff later? 

And why is it written at the end and not the beginning as a warning to any unsuspecting reader? 

Despite this, some are able to get agreeable comments regardless of any errors. 

People who aspire to be good writers fill the online page, I'm sure. And they don't mind critiques. They are willing to take advice without feeling insulted and may even desire the information they think will further their skills.  

What about those who assume they've written a good piece of poetry that's sure to be noticed, only to discover the opposite? The answer may lie in the fact that people don't know what to say in a review, or the writer didn't wait long enough before posting. Therefore, he/she may miss the mark and fall short. Many leave because they think they're no good. The lack of feedback is another reason.

Would you like to hear someone say....Your metaphors are striking. I see symbolism in this piece, let me explain....?

Would you rather hear....this is really good?

Or would you be content to hear nothing at all?  

I think the majority of people want to hear good things about what they've written. Make no mistake about that. They want someone to enjoy, relate, or just expound on how much they like what they've read. Notice I said the majority. Some, from what I've been told, simply don't care what others opinions on their writing is. They won't even respond. So be it. I guess they're the ones content with no reviews. 

So how do you write? 

I say you should write any way you want. And if you're successful in getting noticed, perhaps you've found a niche in writing as well as a style that's all your own. If not, keep trying. 

But most of all, keep writing. 

Reviews

[Jacob Clifford]

Very thoughtful. More than anything, Writerscafe seems like--to me at least--a social website. A lot of people just use their writing as a form of communication. I love how at the end of the story, after mentioning the numerous reasons people write and what they want, you say to just keep writing. That really is the most important thing.

When I came to this site, I was looking for other people who could give me advice and help me grow my writing skills, and I hoped I could do the same for others. While that has happened, most exchanges have been something like "I like this story, keep it up", or "I like X character" without the reasoning behind why those elements were good or not good.

I really like this piece. It feels like a collection of thoughts, but it's very in depth and well written.

[Relic]

Thank you for the review Clifford. :)

[Sahara Mist]

Written like a true genius. I haven't read something as profound and motivating as this in a while.

[Relic]

You're too kind, thank you very much. :)

[MOON]

I realized some time ago , this is a social site. Few , me included are honest, my excuse I don't know enough about poetry rules and grammar sometimes escape me. Wish though this was a site where you could learn from real poets....love the write.

[Relic]

I can only agree, thank you.

[Carol Cashes]

I was told many years ago that the author is the final authority on any changes to their work. Suggestions and recommendations are just that. I write stories and rambling editorials so grammar, spelling, and punctuation are key. and glaring errors can distract from the content. However, it's been my experience since joining this site, that poetry really has no set parameters or rigid guidelines and it is that very quality that has allowed me to enjoy some very interesting and eye-opening work. Thank you for posting this, and I hope the younger writers read this.

[Relic]

Thanks very much for your thoughts on the subject Carol. :)

[apennylate]

This... This entire write just speaks to the reality of dirty fact entrenched in a good sum of peoples intentions on this site... It is ALL a damn transaction to most, and to others... They get a free-ride to lambaste others hard-work with ZERO point of reference or contextual perspective... WE, the writers, are the ones with the final say on stylistic and train-of-thought expressions... IF I was interested in joining your publishing house (If you had one)... THEN... I MIGHT... Might... Be interested in the personal affronts each of my poems brings to your mind... Otherwise, keep the self-pretentious, obscure, big-headed reviews and "criticism" away from me... This mirrored how I felt to the T, and that... My friend, thank you... You speak volumes of truth here, and it needs to be read by everyone...

[Relic]

Thanks so much Silente. :)

[apennylate]

Aye, you are like a gospel preacher of the word... And I mean the word of words... Hah

[Relic]

................ :)

[emmajoy]

'I say you should write any way you want. And if you're successful in getting noticed, perhaps you've found a niche in writing as well as a style that's all your own. If not, keep trying. BUT most of all, keep writing.' WONDERFUL, Relic - please take a bow! What a fine post! I could go through the points you've mentioned but why do so when you've laid your thoughts so brilliantly. Truly brilliantly, clearly and kindly.

I can't write within rigid form but TRY to adhere to rules learned in the schoolroom. I have absolute admiration for those who write in traditional style, also those who explore language. As long as no harm's done, we all have the right to express our thoughts and opinions. If others approve OR disapprove, so be it. Don't expect miracles but, be grateful and civil when they occur!

It's true, Friends can forgive almost too much, perhaps more so among younger writers. So be it, but this is the WRITERS' Cafe. not Social Club - however many wonderful friendships are formed.

MANY thanks for raising your voice with such clarity and charm. 'Truly hope many people read your comments and see the logic of them.

[Relic]

You're very kind. Thank you emma. :)

[emmajoy]

Not kind, just sincere PLUS, very much in awe of your fine, fine writing. x

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is very thought provoking. I write for myself, to share, to emote, and have others feel what I felt at the time I wrote it. I'm always open to constructive criticism or helpful advice but learned many years ago to ignore those who critique with vitriol and hatred. I know that I don't deserve that and that kind of hate-filled feedback is promptly ignored.

After all of these years, one particular individual who was like this really stands out in memory. He could have been such a wonderful mentor to so many, and he was obviously intelligent with wisdom to share. He, however, chose to be that nasty naysayer who just criticized for the sake of being cruel, for the sake of rallying the other hate spewers on the site. It just strikes me as so sad that someone would choose to be that way. In remembrance of him and the way he was, I really go out of my way to encourage those with passion and potential. Overall, if I read something about which I have nothing nice to say, I just say nothing.

[Relic]

Nicely said Linda, thanks. :)

[JPDonelan]

I'm going to second Ethan's remark about how nice it is to see someone publicly note this subject. Your assessment is spot on enough that I can't add anything overly substantial.

You've made me want to yammer on this subject myself now, but I want to touch on something your personal experience dragged to the forefront of my mind. In the paragraph, you note that the recipient of your attempted kindness responded in "an angry tone." (I apologize now for the incoming tone monologue, really I do).

Tone is a very important aspect of offering advice, and even just communicating regularly. Tone can soften the harshness of a critique or make like someone is beating you with a baseball bat. Tone can suggest to intent, the why this person is taking their time to offer a review of some sort. Unfortunately, as was the case you noted, a single tone can be perceived differently dependent upon the recipient. A review written with the intent to help, in a kind tone can be perceived as hostile and an attempt to tear down the work (which, itself, can be considered an extension of the recipient in some cases) or, as Nightingale said, an attempt to shame someone by drawing attention to either a lack of execution or knowledge. A myriad of factors are involved in communication, asynchronous as they may be at times, and all it takes is one of those components to turn sour for the rest to crumble like a house with a bad foundation.

I am sorry that you received such a hostile response when your intent was to assist.

I want to thank you for your thoughts, and apologize for my spiel. But, most of all, I want to mirror your last line. For those of you who write, keep at it.

[Relic]

Thanks for a great review JP. :)

[Ethan]

Yeah, I've dealt with things like this with people as well. It's nice to see someone publicly recognizing it.

[Relic]

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Shannon]

I agree with both your assessment and especially your last statement.

Wc is as much social site as writing site. Not all want to be writers.

[Relic]

Thank you Shannon.

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

Right !!! ............................... :)................

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

I write from my heart, and from my life experience.. I don't ask for a Critique ..I am not aiming to be published.. lol.. MOST people on the Cafe just want to be heard ,, listened to... mostly the Cafe is a Social Site of sorts, but it takes some many years to understand that ... If one does not expressly ask for a Critique , then one should not be given ,, . Most of us do not need some know-it-all to drop their Golden Words Of Wisdom on our Poems/Stories/Blogs... Life is hard enough, without being shamed, and ridiculed at every turn.. IN AN OPEN FORUM...LOL.. Private Messages work best, but as you pointed out..even those are taken badly , and lead to anger ....sigh...... I have been here 5 yrs, and I love it, and I appreciate my friends, and their sometimes advice... ..

And... YOU are one of the best writers on the Cafe !!!

JAZZY ♥

[Relic]

Although I find it hard to agree with your last line, I Thank you Jazzy. :P

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

LOL....................You are welcome....

[William Liston]

I agree with it.

[Relic]

......................... :)

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

.............................. :).......................