My posting phenomenon.

My posting phenomenon.

It's been happening to me since I first joined Writers Cafe. I write a poem or story, I go over it, it sounds fine, so I post. 

Then it happens. 

Like an inner voice in my head, I hear it...hey look, I see something that sounds wrong. Yeah, and there's something else too......and something else.... 

As though tricked by mental blindness, I start fixing lines, feeling anxious. Should I delete the poem/story and start again? But six or seven people have seen it. Now what? 

One day, I revised a poem 16 or 17 times AFTER it had been posted. I felt like exploding. This is a constant problem for me. 

Am I a perfectionist?

Or is there something more disturbing going on? 

Is it possible there's a disquieting spirit inside me saying......You did it again didn't you, you posted before you should have, now I'll screw you up. HAHA, SUFFER POET RELIC, SUFFEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR. "You call yourself a writer? Pick up a crayon instead, you're better off. hahahaha." (throws down the mic and walks away). 

But here's the thing. Why then does it look okay before posting? 

Is it possible there was another Relic somewhere on the internet before me and his spirit is here to haunt me? Hmm? I don't know. But I do know one thing. When I posted this, I felt like someone was watching me. Waiting...looking over my shoulder. Blurring my eyesight somehow

SCOUNDREL!  STAY AWAY! 

I'M POSTING THIS AND I'M NOT GOING TO REVISE IT AFTER. 

TAKE THAT YOU HEATHEN! 

RASCAL!  

CRAPHEAD!

Shhhhhhhhh okay. 

Now-- here it goes, ready to post this. Let's hope this works. 

Reviews

[Ghania]

Ha ha. I think.... no no, actually I am sure that I am on the same wavelength. I guess it happens to everyone.
Still, I think I am just a beginner and still learning. :P

[Relic]

I've been here for years and I'm still learning. :) Thank you.

[Ghania]

You're Welcome, Relic.
And yes, we all are ''always'' Learning. You're so humble. :P

[Relic]

................ :)

[...]

I neve post first version . I let poem to breath own life. Rewriting like 5 times. Make more visible and meaningful. I see here on w.c. so many good poems but just in half way. Raymond carver Re write quiet lot and his,writing is honest beautiful and very strong. Poetry is not product from factory.

[Relic]

Well said, thanks for taking the time to read. :)

[...]

Thank you too.