Him

A Poem by Heather

Dear Mat,

I had the most amazing experience of a first date and I’m grateful it was with you. For the endless nights and days we talked i’ve never been that happy. I was nervous until I got into the car because I felt safe with you. I loved how we just talked about the most random topics ever and not get bored in each other’s presence. can feel right away, that I can be my weird and crazy self when I’m around you. I can tell you anything plus not feel judged or harshly questioned about certain things that has happened. I know we’ve only seen one another twice but I’m really happy we ever met. You were my first kiss! I was very afraid because I had no idea if we were going to kiss and had no idea if I would screw it and didn’t want to be a fool.

When you called me your Queen, including telling your father about me, you have no idea how special I felt. Nobody has ever done that, nobody I’ve ever liked, that is. I fell very hard for you Mat. To know you were somewhat interested in me made me really happy to where I can’t explain how I felt. Being with you, cuddling, kissing. All this felt so natural. I actually saw us maybe having a chance. It scared me though when you hadn’t texted me back after. I got really confused and pretty upset/sad. I tried hard to hide what I felt in front of Kaitlyn but she saw right through me. I woke up crying because I thought you were getting really upset with me. I prayed that you are okay and everything is okay. I got worried and I still am.

Your handsome, have a beautiful personality, lovable, patient, selfless, a gentleman, funny, a sweetheart, smart, laid-back, sensitive and such a large heart filed with love. I wish the date had not ended because I had fun and I hope you did too but I know you were exhausted from driving. For trusting you, it took a lot for me to say it. I have been hurt before to the point where I’d make walls all around me as protection. I know you said you wanted to start a new chapter and find someone you want to be with to love and I really hope you do, darling. You deserve to find that special someone.

Last thing I’ll say is I’m sorry. Sorry if I weirded you out, sorry if I texted/talked to much, sorry for being overly sensitive, sorry if my laugh is weird, sorry for just everything. I hope you aren’t mad at me but if you are, I hope one day you can forgive me.

Just know that if there is anything, I’m here for you, no matter what is going on and no matter what time.

I miss you dearly, I still really like you. Just tell me if you’re okay.

Your “notice everything” girl, Heather