I Can’t Find My Voice

Why is it so hard to speak?
I have so many thoughts, so many feelings
I’m desperate to get them out
To be heard and be seen

But it all stays stuck somewhere
Not even deep inside
It’s not like I have much to hide
And yet it’s so damn hard for me to speak
To say what I truly feel
Sometimes I wonder if the words coming out of my mouth are even real

A connection, vulnerability, no
A voice
Please God, give me a voice
Can’t you see I’m already making the choice?
To speak, to let someone understand
I’ve chosen so many times and yet all my words are terribly bland.

That’s the most I can say
About speaking at all
Now I’ll watch as all my words hit a wall
Not in acceptance
But because that’s how it is
The end
Unless maybe, just maybe
I could fi�"