Running

Descriptive paragraph that was the basis of a story I wrote.

My feet pounded against the cement footpath rhythmically, each step taking me further and further from the dark monster behind me. Not fast enough, I had to go faster. Run faster, as fast as I could through the pitch black streets. I had to get away from it. Each step now brought pain, but that was good. Pain distracted me. I couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t care. I had to keep running; if I stopped it would get me. I’d be better off dead. As I was running I had forgotten to keep my eyes on the ground. I was too panicked, going too fast. That was my downfall. I didn’t know what it was I fell over. Maybe it was nothing substantial at all, but a tendril of darkness the wrapped itself around my ankle, abruptly halting my escape. Whatever was that had tripped me had killed me. I could feel it coming closer, rushing towards me, faster and more devastating than a hurricane. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move.

Author's Note

As I've mentioned, I'd love some criticism, I need my mistakes and weaknesses pointed out so I can improve, thank you!

Reviews

[TheMadnessWithin]

I really liked your story, however you could try not using ‘was’ so many times because it kinda dulls the story, also try being really descriptive about how the main character feels