Half a Human

When will the darkness
be just the end
of the light?

I swirl fast trying to bring her in
sight.

Sometimes, she is a face in blurred
pastel,

then she fades, into the black.

Never here.again. So then
I go on
forgetting the ache, the wishing.

When will I be enough?
not this empty half loaf
this stupid, longing pain oaf.

Just enough. life lived.
without the longing...

I stuff it down, hide it away in the darkness.
My Wishing pushed away, where it won't hurt
where if I don't look for it
I can smile and be

at peace

with never finding her.

Reviews

[Valentine]

This reads so sad, not continuing to look may be missing a great opportunity. Nice write. Valentine

[Mark]

Well, there's not looking and there's being open to the possibility. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Life is hard. Never gives us what we want.
"Just enough. life lived.
without the longing..."
Longing and hope is the last part to leave my friend. Thank you Mark for sharing your excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Pryde Foltz]

To love someone and not feel worthy of them turns love into suffering. A powerful write here, Mark:)

[Mark]

Thanks. It seems nowadays the only time I'm inspired to write is when the loneliness gets to me. I wish there was someone I didn't feel worthy for. At least then I'd know what she looked like. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Sounds trite ... but accepting yourself as worthy really is the first step:) Namaste, Mark:)

[Mark]

Thanks, but really that's not it for me. I accept me and continue working on what i want me to be. For me it's just sometimes the loneliness gets to me. When I was a kid I had three goals, to be a father, to find work I enjoyed, and to find a soul mate. I found the first two, just never found the 3rd. I'm okay being who I am. it's just once in awhile the loneliness seems a bit overwhelming. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Go inside when you are lonely ... that is meditate. Bring yourself to a clear mind and then imagine how it would feel to have the soulmate.Don't long for her but imagine the desire fulfilled. Do this often and you will find someone. You will also stop feeling lonely. Or feel it a little less, anyways:)