Sanctuary

Punching a clock, driving in rush hour traffic, the same dull routine every day. What we give up for a few dollars and shrinking benefits eh?

Sanctuary

Dreams please take me home.

This gritty drear day

another one done.

Sanctuary

Where I am at home.

Bring me the comfort

bring me the blue sky

bring me 

Sanctuary.

Chained to a paycheck

lost in the gears

cogs choke the highway

losing my mind again.

Sanctuary

Dreams please take me home

Sanctuary

Lost so in your arms

I want 

Sanctuary.

Just moments to rest

living in these chains

paying with remains.

But I'll be fine again.

Sanctuary

Where I'm not alone

Sanctuary

feel it in my bones

I want

Sanctuary.

Where the wrong turn?

feelings like bridges burned.

I just can't help but

do it all again.

Sanctuary

say I want to live.

Sanctuary

say I want to give.

Sanctuary

Lose me in your arms.

Sanctuary

Sanctuary home

Sanctuary;

I will come;

I will come home to you.

Reviews

[Stanley Wilson]

oh yes mark this is a fine piece of work loved it all sanctuary means different things to us all you got it all down. loved the last verse it brought it all home you must have been stuck in traffic on a long old trip!! cracking read!!!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Mark I do like your work but you OVER worked this baby. The sentiment is good and emotive, your sintax and meter great! FIRST STANZA:
'This gritty drear day' Should read:
'This gritty dreary day'
Personaly I would lose the final stanza as it feels laboured!

[Marie]

"Drear" is a legitamate word, though "dreary: might sound better. Frankly, the whole poem feels a bit laboured to me. But I don't think the first stanza should be left out, because the theme of it is picked up later and becomes a central point.

[Mark]

Drear is what I intended. this is a favorite of mine, but I do realize it has imperfections. Mostly I was trying for a broken sort of rhythm in this poem; give it an unnatural feel to convey my sentiments about working a job, being a slave to a paycheck. I did try rewriting it once but it wasn't gritty enough for me so it is what it is. :)

[Brandon S. Whitten]

How we all long to go home, feeling this is not where we belong and we don't. We're just passing through this backwards world where some believe this is it. Excellent read and write.

[Mark]

Thank you sir :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Sanctuary is needed for us to survive. We need a place to rest and know peace. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mark]

Yes it is necessary. Thank you for your comments my friend.

[Mia]

"Sanctuary
Dreams please take me home
Sanctuary
Lost so in your arms
I want
Sanctuary."
I love that! This poem is great Mark...but I've come to expect nothing less with you :)
I'm not sure about the ending, when you say...
"Sanctuary
Sanctuary home
Sanctuary;"
I felt like it was a little out of place. Everything up to that point and then the last to lines flow so nicely. It just seemed to break the flow for me.

[Mark]

Thank you for your high praise and your honesty Mia. I tried to write it as though it would be sung. In my head those last lines work, but obviously I'm 'hearing' it a little differently than you are. ;)

[Mia]

It's always a pleasure :)