Sleep-Hunt

Insomnia can drive you crazy at times, if not all the time.

As I gaze at you, cradled in slumber,

Startling yourself with your own snores,

I count the years of transient stupors,

That have crossed in scores.

 

I can't help but wonder, the colour of your dreams;

Are they bursting with yellow, green and aquamarine?

Or tinged with black and blue like mine?

 

I want to peek under, the blanket of your thoughts;

Are they tranquil and tender, silken like wine?

Or unhinged and untamed like mine?

 

As I gaze on at you, I ponder,

Upon the only slumber, to me, will surrender,

 And the casket it would accompany,

 Six feet under!

 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

You are a amazing writer. Each poem a journey into place and thoughts.
"I want to peek under, the blanket of your thoughts;
Are they tranquil and tender, silken like wine?
Or unhinged and untamed like mine?"
Would be nice to know the dreams of another. It is sad we allow so few people in. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[ANTO]

I hope you'll forgive me for laughing at the very end of this - its just caught me off guard. Of course thats what it was meant to do, so I don't know why I'm apologising - I should be saying 'Well Done Annie'. Planning and execution are faultless here.
Bravo!

[Isabel25]

Hahah..Anto, this wasnt supposed to be funny actually, but I am glad that you could take it in a lighter sense :D Pls do not apologize ever to me ever- this is how a poem works, it touches different people differently. Happy to know you liked it :D See u around :)

[sereenaoutloud]

Great write, you take us on a journey while you stay wide awake wishing for sleep to come!
"I want to peek under the blanket of your thoughts" well said!

[Isabel25]

Thank you Sereena :)

[Ana B.]

Very good and intense piece. Loved the ending! I never had any experience of insomnia, yet i would've had the same thoughts. Great work!

[Isabel25]

Thank u so much Ana :)

[Ana B.]

Anytime Annie :)

[andrew mitchell]

The good ole toss and turn all night long to produce magic like this! A lovely gem!

[Isabel25]

Thanx Andrew :D

[Chase]

The second stanza was definitely my favorite. After that things seem to get a little muddled together. It was a good piece, though!

[Isabel25]

Is it? Well...maybe that's cos I was a bit muddled up when I wrote it. But thank u for stopping by :)

[Chase]

I just found myself looking for a transition between the second and third stanzas (because the first two seem very different from the second two)! But I still do enjoy the piece; it has a lot going on :)

[Isabel25]

Thank you Decebel :)

[R Smith]

good work Annie, always i find this format of poetry the best, 4 stanzas, 4 lines per stanza, its my favourite way to write and you have done it beautifully here, i had some experience of insomnia, not much maybe but enough to appreciate this lovely poem, well done :)

[Isabel25]

This is my favourite kind too :D Thank you Richard, I'm glad you liked it :D

[Sourav]

Sometimes... I feel that sleepless nights are blessings... when everyone sleeps and you're awake, you are not alone... someone is also waking with you. Try to talk with that person :)

Nice write, liked it.

[Isabel25]

Whoa, that is sort of creepy to think about. But in a good way. Thank you for stopping by :)

[prajakta]

wow..this was really good!loved the line of startling wid snores!:)

[Isabel25]

Thank you Prajakta :)..tats my favourite line too

[prajakta]

hmmm...:),beautiful usage of words here..!

[Abilash Uttama]

it's very deep and as an introvert i could relate to it. sometimes i think what's going on in this mind veneered by social mask how he is actually perceiving the situation and is it different from mine or is it same. description is wonderful, Amazing work !

on other note i am clinomaniac :P

[Isabel25]

what is clinomania? :0

[Abilash Uttama]

clinomaniac: one who love to sleep

[Isabel25]

Loves*...I envy you...sleep rarely comes to my rescue.

[Abilash Uttama]

oops! yeah loves it is and i would like to add further i can even sleep for 14 hours straight :D
read moreoops! yeah loves it is and i would like to add further i can even sleep for 14 hours straight :D

[Abilash Uttama]

i think i should talk to you more often as it will reduce the no of typos and grammatical mistakes i make.

[Isabel25]

I did not see this comment..sorry.

[Abilash Uttama]

oh it's fine :)