Wandering

As I wandered into my numb mind
I travelled through the things I knew
Upon the crawling things, I dined
Upon each day, the darkness grew

My heart kept beating a sad song
The melody tangled with melancholy
The empty corridor, was empty and long
Accusing myself for senseless felony

Now, I stand in a deep, dark, maze
Running for breath, crying for tears
Looking up at the sky to gaze
Rights in the pit of my darkest fears

Author's Note

I hooe you like it. Do tell me my mistakes. Thank you.

Reviews

[Patricia Williams]

I loved it. My only critique is that I think it might flow better is there was punctuation at the end of the lines... If it was purposeful don't mess with it though. I do stuff like that occasionally too.

[B. Boileau]

Self doubt...the absence of passion in one's life can feel devastating at times and can be a tough hole to climb out of. Your words express this explicitly. It's a matter of choice to some degree as to how one deals with it.
"Looking up at the sky to gaze" ... I look in wonderment and amaze... a deep,dark verse. With the kind of emotion one only sees in oneself . Your writing is mesmerizing.
bill