My thoughts

One moment, I feel an unshakable peace within me. But the next, my thoughts decide I don't deserve this peace and that I should dissect them one by one. The truth is, I'm not at peace, and my thoughts control me.
I suffer in silence. Every morning I wake up with a desire to exist without thoughts, without emotions, and without people. No one is there anyway.
Amnesiac, how I wish I could forget everything and remember nothing. I cry out for help, but no one is by my side to reach out. I raise my eyes upward, where help is supposed to come. But I see nothing, because everything seems dark.
I search within myself for the strength to fight, but fight for what, for whom?
Alone, I face abandonment, loneliness, darkness, my emotions... I face my thoughts.  They show me many things: places, objects, memories, faces of people who seem to be present and those who have decided to move away, into distance, silence, and indifference.
I'm in pain, I'm afraid... afraid that one day my thoughts will offer me something that will finally end my suffering.
Death
My soul aches, my heart aches, I suffer, I bleed, I cry, I tear myself apart, but there's no one there to take me in their arms and calm my torment.
So I continue to suffer, until night comes and I fall asleep, and I find myself outside of reality. This reality that is mine and that is slowly killing me.