You Didn't See Me Cry

A Poem by James Probert

Almost four years and it still hurts sometimes

I have battled every impulse
To come crashing through your door
To show how much I've missed you
Like I never had before

I need to see your face again
To hold your hand and kiss your lips
I need to hear your voice again
Like addicts need another fix

I've wanted to come wander by
To seek forgiveness in your eyes
I've wished I could turn back the time
Where I was yours and you were mine
I've wanted to curse at the stars
Since I fucked up, tore us apart
But mostly I just miss your love
And how it used to fill me up

You didn't see me cry that day
I knew things were forever changed
I read the letter that you wrote
And everything inside me broke
Your optimism broke my heart
For what I wrote in mine was dark
The conflict in me since is strong
I fear the choice I made was wrong
To let you go took all my will
But in my core I'm broken still

I wonder how you're doing now
Have you found love and settled down?
I hope that you have found some peace
Though I still wish it was with me
I'm sorry I can't let you go
But that's fine cause you'll never know