Asked & Answered 129

The Holy Hoax (1) ...in 12 lines

The Holy Hoax Book Tour (1) ~Seattle, Wash.

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Welcoming questions after his talk, Holy Hoax author, Tom Wix, scans his audience

and points to a woman with her hand raised. "Ma'am."

~

She asks, "Why must you be so critical of peoples' belief in God, Dr. Wix?"

~

"With respect, ma'am, because he doesn't exist."

~

"Don't be flip with me, sir. Give me a proper answer."

~

"Alright, because in my opinion, ma'am, 

it's time for humanity to grow up and let go of a childish, 

albeit comfy, belief in a white-bearded man who magically knows, 

the whole wide world over, who's naughty, and 

who's nice enough to receive his gift."

~

" ...Are you comparing God to Santa Claus?!"

~

"Yes, ma'am, at the risk of ticking off Santa, as I have kids who've

 already given him their prayers ...I mean Wish lists." 

_________________

 

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

So it was God whose lap I was sitting on in the department store at Christmastime when I was a kid. And it was bribery when I promised to be good. Now I am crushed; God was on the take.

[JD Major]

Sorry to be the one to break it you, JB, I was 7 when a man on TV slipped and said there was no Santa, and I was in tears.

[Soren]

No longer believe in Santa, not sure what God is anymore, but I do believe in nature and it's not nice to fool mother nature, she's been around too long. Clever write and it brought a smile to my face.

[JD Major]

Thanks Soren, always good to hear from you :)

[Ciara]

Lol! You want to stay on the good side of both I think.
If you believe. 🙂🎅

But yes, couldn't agree more with the comparison you've drawn. 👍

[JD Major]

haha, of course I still believe, 'cause one Christmas Eve long ago, I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe, Not :)

[Chris Shaw]

Now that raised a smile. A clever write. You managed to say so much in a few lines. Well done you. What a comparison:)

Chris

[JD Major]

Now it's me who's blushing :) Thanks my friend!

[willweb]

Now where did that come from? Wow my friend, you have now outdone yourself in my eyes. The comparison is genius. I don't even know what to say except Bravo!!!

[JD Major]

Thanks willweb! your review sounds word-for-word like one I'd write to you, and well-deserved by you! ...to answer your question, I'm not sure how or from where these ideas of ours come from, I guess from our Writer' mindset: the need to write sparks ideas :)

[Ken e Bujold]

love it. can't believe I never made the connection between the two beards before. thanks for the smile, and more importantly, what will be a lifelong twining of two of man's most commercially comical gnomes.

best of the season JD

[JD Major]

...comical gnomes, Funny!
Thanks, Ken, and Merry Christmas to you! :)