Intention

there is a ladder

and a thousand steps of shame

did we really have to fall?

were we ever really lame?

a motion-picture photograph

the girl behind the camera

smiles

as you climb 

back 

into 

the frame

Author's Note

One from writer's group this morning. I edited it down, maybe it's better for brevity...

Reviews

[Pete]

nicely said. seems as though someone is back in the picture ... :)

[John Sullivan]

Ahahaha, thanks for reading, my friend

[Cherrie]

That smile will get ya every time.

Less is always more. Because it makes us choose are words. Creating emotion and image.

[John Sullivan]

How true about the smiles, we are silly creatures sometimes... thanks for reading!

[---]

Hey John,

I really enjoyed this - bit hard on yourself, I think, for a spontaneous write it's very clean and there's a lot of juice in each of the stanzas. : )

Just me, but each section feels as though it could stand alone, three separate images: I see the fall, perdition, and then the photographer image, followed last by an urban setting and cultural memory.

If each were a painting in a gallery (tripartite) the viewer would have to craft their own narrative as they linked each image, almost like tarot cards, and I think there's a lot that could be inferred between each of them. The imagination takes over and, through your presentation, the audience creates their own narrative and builds their own interpretation.

Because you start with the fall (I'm assuming biblical connotation) the other images are informed by that theme, and my personal takeaway feels quite beautiful. We are flawed creatures, in a flawed world with flawed, and yet very human stories. Love it.

That's the stuff man, really enjoyed!

-Ook

(Ah, except we lost the third stanza in your edit! haha, bummer!)

[John Sullivan]

Yeah, I felt the third stanza just didn't fit, tho I like the way the two remaining sort of go together... It's a very... not together piece, I sort of wrote it in a rush, but thank you so much for your thoughts!

[---]

I think we can lose the magic in craft sometimes, lessen our imaginations and get lost in technique.

We write because we love it, and this one had a lot of that. : )

You're very welcome,

-Ook

[John Sullivan]

I'd have left you a review, but you've got em disabled. A shame, because some of your stuff is really excellent. Just thought you should know

[---]

Hey, that's very kind of you - just a loner by nature and a healthy distance is my comfort zone. Hehe

appreciate it none the less