My Halcyon Afterlife

My halcyon dreams of afterlife

taunt me now,

decayed disruption to dismayed life.

Like Eden beneath a carpark of souls

I am buried,

trampled under your feet.

This coffin is big enough for two,

the pieces of my ego and I.

Enriching the soil of my promised land.

I have prepared for this journey -

Ineffable horror of life -

It goes on even though I do not.

My one true love is only allegorical, after all;

with a disclaimer in small print.

My halcyon dreams are for sale now,

going cheap:

get one before they're gone.

Reviews

[Poeticadia]

What a wonderfully creative idea... designing a paradise for the afterlife... and how it taunts the poet when the vision takes over his earthly life... selling the dream as if it might release him... as if someone else might make good use of it.

Some fantastic lines and images here. The poem would also work well split into 3 line verses (with 'after all' given a line to itself and accentuating the relevance of 'all' with a heavy pause). But either way it's concise and perfectly formed... every word takes its place; infers the most it can.

[deeps]

Very creative and so well written and expressed.
Enjoyable read.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the word "halcyon". I need to find my place on the beach. I lost my journey to the ocean and some peace. My freedom went very cheaply also. I enjoyed the complete poem. Told a real story. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[JimmyFlux]

That 'carpark of souls' line really caught my attention. Cool poem.

[miSS LEaf]

A concise, well thought out verse, soft spoken yet lingering.. and most importantly, it's very humanistic~ Well done.

[masqued_muse]

"My one true love is only allegorical, after all; with a disclaimer in small print."
What an intelligent, metaphorical explanation of the fragility of trust...the gifted are often the most tormented.

[Brad Nugent]

Wow. This is awesome. The imagery is created so beautifully. 'Like Eden beneath a carpark of souls' --- I love this line. You have weaved such a wonderful feel to this piece.

[Raven Starhawk]

I am greatly surprised at the exquisite texture you so masterfully weave in this poem. I pour myself into every line and perceive them to be absolute sprinkles of genuine creativity.