Autumn Within 6

Those who readmy poetry will realise that it is mainly happy verse, expressing joy in a world that is still beautiful. I really depressed myself with this one, but it balances things up and is, sadly, true.

 

 

Sensing Autumn Within

 

Active and spry,

With an undimmed eye;

Yet I find that my mind                                 

Tells me something profound.

Really profound,                               

Now - - - - - what was it?

And then! I remember.

I laugh, well sort of, and tell,

Inside me, it’s September.

 

I climb a stair

And find that the air

Takes effort to inhale;

Could those really be ‘gasps’?

Surely not ‘gasps’?

Pausing - - - - - for breath,

And then! Moment over,

I laugh, well sort of, and feel,

Inside me, it’s October. 

 

From chair I rise

To peer with rheumy eyes

At skies, now always grey

My daily paper blurs

As sight gets worse

Much, much - - - - - worse

And then, alas, remember;    

And laugh, well sort of, then weep;

Inside me, it’s November.

 

 

 

My Autumn’s gone

The Winter is come,

I think; or is it Spring?

No; that I’ll never see,

I think. I wish - - - wish - - -.

Why am I here,

 

In high backed chair - - - where?

 

Weeping, trying to remember.

 

Inside me, it’s December.

 

                                                John Berry

 

 

Reviews

[The DuchessPoet]

I LOVE THIS JOHN L!
It is *FANABULOUS*! (my word) For fantastically fabulous! lol

Thank you for making me smile & giggle!

This is great for the contest!

The Duchess,

[Helena]

John this was a great poem! Wonderful insights you have penned
here. It had "loneliess" stamped all over it and da very worthy
addition to my contest.

Thanks for sharing!

~ Helena

[angelina neves]

very beautiful... and powerful

[Emily Rose]

Oh, how sad! You really convey your pain and your sorrow well with your words, although I'm glad you at least give us something to cling to - the rhyme scheme makes the weary and sad words sound lilting and alive and thus more upbeat. It may be December, but you've obviously got a ways to go until January. (And remember, it is in the winter that we recieve our new year, our new beginning!) Although this poem heralds endings I really think there are snippets of beginnings in it, too: you reference spring, which comes AFTER winter - a second beginning if you believe in such things. Eternal spring? Perhaps. You really get a hold of the passing of time, and I like how another season passes with every stanza. Making us wait through that break in the middle of each stanza is agonizing - the pauses really reflect how you feel. Sometimes poetry is more about what is unsaid than what is said, right?

I'm comforted, though, by the fact that you remain upbeat even as the poem draws to its close - you can still (sort of) laugh, and with laughter you get a taste of spring. The trick, I think, is to focus on the springtime moments (and those appear even in the dead of winter) and the beauty of having a winter at all.

In the sense of the big picture (all of the poems together) would you maybe consider moving this one, seven, to the sixth spot? I think the sixth one better encompasses the entire set - it's got shades of the depressing but it also focuses on autumn as a literal season instead of just a metaphorical one and thus it better serves the joy of the earlier poems while still touching on the sadness of the later ones.

I'm so glad you encouraged me to read these, together they form a wonderful tribute to autumn and to life itself.