Short Shorts

Wrote this while walking through the park on a hot day.

Long luscious legs
Spontaneous summer spell
Ultimately unattainable

Author's Note

Decided to try some alliteration with this one. And as with all my haiku, it still needs to be revised as I'm still very new to the genre.

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I actually like how you use the alliteration in this poem. I think that it really helps describe the idea of movement in this poem. I also like how the sounds are soft and graceful which give your audience an idea of the beauty of your subject.

I do have to ask, are you gong for a more traditional syllable count?

[Jaden Larker]

Thanks, and I personally don't tend to pay attention to my syllable count. I'd like to keep them around 12-14 usually but don't feel I need to be restricted by them. I choose the words that I feel fit best and then make sure there are no unnecessary ones.