wakening in an unfamilar place.

Tera wakes up in a hospital bed, unable to recall why he's there, or what has happened to his wife.

Tera wakes up in a strange environment he is not used to, its so clean and bright and unrecognisable, and it smells way to clean, to be his room, and besides the bed's too small, a pretty lady dressed in purple scubs is at the foot of the bed he's laying in reading off a clipboard.

"Who are you?" Tera asks her confused, realising there is a drip attached to his arm, a hospital? he thinks to himself and suddenly a realisation comes over him

"kaetalita! WHERES MY WIFE?!'" he yells in a frantic panic stricken cry.

the nurse walks over to him, and sighs

"Im sorry sir, your wife didn't make it through the accident.'"

Tera is now crying hysterically, kicking and screaming as he rips out his drip and tries to get out of bed, nurses come from everywhere to pin him down. He's an emotional Wreck.

 

"So, i heard you caused quite a scene yesterday, Tera is it?" Dr Franz asks him, He has been assigned to a psychologist  due to hospital policy. His outburst yesterday did in fact cause a major scene, Nurses had to strap him down then pump him with sedatives before they could contain him.

 

"Yeah, that's my name." Tera Sighs, still in disbelief that Kaetalita is really gone.
"I understand how you are feeling Tera, you lost the one who was closest to you, how long have you been married?"

"Almost six years" only six years since that day long ago when the love of his life walked down that sandy aisle, that beautiful woman who Tera had loved with all his heart, walked down through the crowd of their closest friends and family smiling like she was the luckiest girl in the world, she may have been, but Tera knew that he would never love another woman the way he loves kaetalita, she's his soulmate, his significant other, the chosen one as Tera's grandfather told him when he was a young boy living in the villiage.

"You miss her dearly don't you Tera, you feel as though you will never love again, you feel as though you can't keep living without her, well I'm telling you right now Tera, that your wife wants you to keep living she wants you to be happy, not because she is gone, but because she hates to see you miserable" Dr Franz grabs for the box of tissues behind him, because Tera is now in a mess of tears. Dr franz can't help but feel sorry for this man he only just met. He knows that Tera's love for Kaetalita is true, it's the strongest love he has ever encounted in all the years he's been a grief councellor he has never witnessed anything like Tera before.

 

 

 

Author's Note

# I've never, apart from birth been a patient in hospital, so if you come up with a way to make this more realistic, tell me.

Reviews

[quixotic_rose]

my eyes are watering. to lose someone like that. blah! but its good besides that haha.

[mariah]

good job! although their are a lot of grammar problems, besides that its getting more interesting :)
-mariah

[Morrigan Nicole]

very emotional. the love that man has for his wife, it is so touching. i feel for him, really. nobody should ahve to go through that. i have no idea what i would do if i lost the love of my life....

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

I like the love he has for his wife. :)

[patricia]

effective and sad beginning to this chapter. Good dialogue and empathy expressed well from carers. Good chapter. Thanks.

[Amila Jay]

Well, this is a good write, may be a few grammar/punctuation to be fixed but overall it's great:))

[xx]

I already mentioned that there are some grammar and spelling errors in the first chapter; I'll just mention them briefly once more so that you're aware that this chapter can use some brushing up too. Beware of punctuation abuse! Those commas and whatnots can get tricky, especially when you're going to for flair and creative sentence structure. Sometimes, though, what sounds natural to you as a writer is actually confusing to read, so make sure you punctuate appropriately, and check over your to and toos as well as your it"s and it's! :)

And capitalization too - that's important.

Plotwise, you might want to modify how Tera finds out that his beloved did not make it out of the accident. With him in such a state, no nurse - or anyone else - would tell him that the person he loves has died, at least not at that moment, and not so bluntly. And while it's very possible that Tera is one of those people who become hysterical upon hearing tragic news (as opposed to most people who would first be stunned and in shock for a while), it's unlikely that he would be as calm as a Zen master the very next day.

There's some tense confusion, too, but that can be fixed easily with some proofreading. So don't give up! Keep writing, and keep pushing! :)

-Mina

[AK]

This chapter was nice:D just one thing, I couldn't relate to the imagery, like you said Tera wakes up in a place that smells of cleaning products. Well hospitals usually smell cool and of that alcohol(god I'm forgetting the name!). It makes it easier to relate to if you write something like that. And I don't know why but Tera's reaction and emotion seem very unreal and somehow the reader isn't able to feel what he's feeling. Please try improving that, I don't know why but it doesn't ring true...