where are you?

Short story of two minds.

“Where are you?” He always asks me this crazy question, it's not a physical location but more of a mind thing, you know. “I'm alright, where are you?” I can't remember when we started doing this, but it helps us really get through to each other. I guess we can tell if someone is caught off guard by the question and usually if one of us are caught off guard we are too deep in our head. “I'm ok.” we sit in silence for a bit both knowing that we are caught trying to avoid the question. I wouldn't want anyone to feel alone in their thoughts but we both know the strange feeling of opening up first the feeling I'm sure most people try to avoid, at least, I think. “I miss a certain place; I don't have too many memories of it though and most of them are kinda bad. I think I want to go back to make more good memories in that place, but it sucks because I know I can't. I remember certain people from there some I can reach out too and some I've never seen again, but I wonder if they remember me like I do them or am I just that one kid from back then, it kind of feels like unfinished business.” “Memories are something, it's funny how we still have strong feelings about things from years back. Thank you for going first by the way, I guess next time is my turn. I would say that I wish this never happened, but I know that everything has a reason, I've met a lot of people growing up but looking at it today none of them are here. I've had many ‘new friendships’ end suddenly and permanently, I don't know how impactful that is but something about it doesn't seem right. I've gotten so used to this that I see the end of a friendship or relationship before it even really starts, and this is enough to convince me that there is no point in trying or wasting energy in relations and certainly no use in getting personal. I know enough to see that the personal part of any relationship is important, it builds trust and takes the relationship to the next level. I only know this because I see a lot of people in my life that look like friends from the outside as acquaintances. a friend? I'd have to think really hard to be able to fill up one hand. But this isn't the end of our story these things may be true in our minds and our hearts and our life, but we don't have to keep these things like this. I know my problem with relationships: I have to be willing to take that leap, maybe not super personal at the beginning, but at least I know where to go and what to build on. For you, you miss your place, wherever it is, you miss some people from there too who you can try to talk to. Now people may change overtime so please don't be discouraged if they aren't the same as you remember or if they don't remember you. This may be easier said than done at first but if you talk to the weight of uncertainty will be lifted and maybe that unfinished business will be complete. As for the place, if you can't visit it often or don't want to, accept it and release it. Again, may sound easier said than done at first, but if you take the good memories and accept that you cannot recreate the exact thing a door will be opened to make new memories that could be similar to those of the past, maybe in hobbies, or sights in where you are now, or places you can visit. So, my friend all is not lost for us, we still have more life to live, and we can choose to work past these things of our past to make a better future.