I'm sorry

I’m sorry

 

How could you leave me?

I thought we could try again..

For so many years

I battled to keep you, but it was not to be.

 

A lifetime of memories,

Through laughter and tears,

We built a fabulous life together

Thought it would last forever though.

 

I try to recall what went wrong

Can’t put my finger on why it crumbled?

Our fairytale relationship

So envied by many.

 

Please come back my darling,

I beg you to try again!

I promise to try harder,

To be your soul mate again.

 

I cannot think what else to say

Except I love you

Please accept my apology

Let’s try again.

 

Reviews

[MJ Durston]

I think I can definately understand where this poem came from, particulary what you must have been feeling at the time. I don't think it flowed so well, but I think that fact is hidden by the relatability of it overall. Could have used some punctuation here or there which definately would have improved it's flow by a lot actually. I think you did well here.

There's always room for improvement.
Best of luck in future writing,
Melissa

[Cassiopia Summers]

I think many can relate, and that's what makes it such an amazing poem. Good write.

[Friend of a Friend]

I love it! I can definitely get the feeling that was behind this poem. My only criticism would be that it kind of sounds the way one thinks, a bit choppy, maybe if you smoothed it out a bit with some more poetic language (taking out the word "fabulous" for instance) it would be a bit more powerful. However, don't take out all of it's bluntness, that kind of style really drives the sentiment of the poem home. Great poem!

[Ashley]

Very well written!

[Aimee Mahathy]

This sounds almost exactly like what happened when my parents divorced. :/ It's sad when a seemingly perfect relationship falls to pieces. But! There's always years to go in one's life, so there's always room to find it again. :3
Great job!

[OT]

a nice relatable piece, with great flow, a story told here!! and well!

[Rasteely]

Sounds like the kind of relationship that was only around because of familiarity and security and not love. Like something that only lasted because it had been around for such a long time. ... I am probably just thinking that.

I like how desperate this person sounds. Trying to grab on to something that won't return and even if it did it probably would never be the same.

[Mauricio Montoya]

That’s sad when a love that been with you calls it quits, hurts I can relate to this write, been there praying for hope just to later come to a crashing end. Excellent write.

[Linear]

4th stanza (be) there in error, but apart from that you told a story, and I enjoyed this poem of anguish. 7points

[luciddreamer]

Very sad, heart wrenching write....well done :)

Peace
Robin

[E.H. Monroe]

The finding of the remnants of a shattered relationship. Its an ugly polace to live. Everything goes right for a reason and then bhind that, the reasons why s**t falls apart.

nice work