~ A Longing Heart ~

- Wherer there is heart, there is love -

In twilight's hush,

  where shadows dance and play,

I search for love,

  but it eludes my way.

For those who claim to love,

  their hearts are gray,

Their words are empty,

  their love but a fray.

Their eyes, like windows,
  show no glimmer of light,

Their touch, a chill, a frost,
  a distant sight.

Their lips whisper-
  promises unfulfilled.

Their hearts, a fortress,
  impenetrable and sealed.

Their words, a web of lies,

  a deceitful snare,

Their love, a mirage,
  a fleeting air.

Their words seem to care,
  but actions are inept,

Their love, a myth,
  a dream, a distant crept.

But still, I wait,
  and hope will spring,

That one day,
  love will find its way to sing.

For in the darkness,
  a sparkle of light,

A love that's true,
  a heart that's bright.

Where there is heart…there is lovE

and here “WE” are!

AEIOU-Ja

Reviews

[willweb]

Very nicely done. The meter on this was near spot on and the rhymes to me seemed great. Just clumsy and memory threw me a bit but overall, the theme, the format and the feel of the poem were very nice. Especially for one whose first language is not English.

[S Jack JA]

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback! I appreciate your comments on the meter and rhymes, and I'm glad you enjoyed the overall theme and feel of the poem. Your point about the words 'clumsy' and 'memory' is well taken, and I've made some adjustments to address that. I've updated the writing accordingly. Your insights are invaluable as I continue to refine my English writing skills. Thank you again for taking the time to read and provide feedback!

[willweb]

I like that, it flows so much better.

[S Jack JA]

Thank you for your positive feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed the adjustments. I'll continue working on improving my English skills.

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful poem. Enjoyed reading

[Tumi]

wow a brilliant write up about search for love
lovely lines
and best flows of words
a perfect writing
i love these
i can keep on reading these hundreds of time
so lovely

[Davidgeo]

We must be careful of people who look too hard for love. They are likely seeking just the feeling and don't really care so much about the person. I believe this is why the divorce rate is so high. Half the adult population has some kind of personality disorder or another. Love is just a sentiment to a lot of us. The person is actually irrelevant. Humans are disgusting.

[S Jack JA]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I understand your concerns about the complexities of love and relationships in today's world. It's true that sometimes people may seek the feeling of love without fully appreciating the depth and commitment it requires. While it can be disheartening, I still believe in the potential for genuine connections and the beauty of true love. It's a challenging journey, but one worth pursuing. Thank you again for your insights.

[Davidgeo]

Love is like caffeine. An accepted addiction that is probably based on chemical delusion but is ultimately useful en masse. Whatever it takes to keep you going... we love that.

[S Jack JA]

Thank you once again for showing your thoughts. I appreciate your unique perspective.

[Relic]

Love never comes when we want it, and when it does, it's not always durable. I know the feeling. Your wrote this so good. Very professional.

[S Jack JA]

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. It's humbling to hear that you resonated with the emotions conveyed in the piece. Your thoughtful comment means a great deal to me. I'm grateful for your kind words and encouragement.

[Poetic Beauty]

Oh the remembrance of lost love and the tangled deceit. But yet hope still shines bright in the distance waiting to the right person to come along

[S Jack JA]

At the end of my writing, the true love between the two, symbolized by 'WE,' will always be there where heart and love intertwine. Thank you very much for your kind expression on this piece of writing. Your thoughtful feedback is greatly appreciated.

[Papaya]

It's one of the biggest mysteries, does it exist or not?
Your poem ends on a very hopeful and optimistic note. I like that.

[S Jack JA]

With my appreciation and thank you for taking the time to read my writing. Your kind comment serves as encouragement for me to continue learning how to write in English.

[Papaya]

I think you're doing just fine. And you are welcome.