Demons Locked Away And Angels Heard Far Away

A Man Becomes The Saviour As He Turns Into A Half Angel And Demon.

 

Demons Locked Away And Angels Heard Far Away By Jason

 

On That Day I Heard The Outside Wind Calmed Down So Far That I Heard Nothing But My Own Thoughts In My Mind. As It Seemed So Unheard Of What I Was Thinking In That Moment In Time. I Had No Idea What Was To Come. So With Every Beat In My Heart I Came To My Feet To See What Was Wrong. And With Every Foot Step Closer To The Front Door I Heard Nothing But Screaming From Outside. It Was So Horrible I Couldnt Stand It No More. As I Fell To My Knees Of All The Horrible Screaming. It Took Every Single Ounce Of Energy To Stand Back Up. In My Head Through My Thoughts I Need To See It With My Own Eyes Of This What I Was Thinking Was The End Of The World As It Sounded Like A War Outside.

 

 I Could Not Stand So I Had To Crawl To The Door And As I Pulled My Self Up To The Door Knob And I Opened It To See What Was Going On In My World. As I Came To See The Horrors Of The Outside World. An Angel Came From The Left Side Of The House And Picked Me Up And Said To Me "This Is It. This Is The Day. This Is The Time To Stand Up Against Them. This Is The Day To Fight For Everything You Ever Loved And Even Hated" And With That Running Through My Head At That Time As He Said That To Me. He Asked The Most Toughest Question In My Life And He Said To Me "Even For All Those Times You Hated The Ones You Loved. Will You Fight For Them" And I Looked At This Six Winged Angel As With My Eyes I Looked At Him All Over As The Feathers Of His Wings Where Shining With Great White Light. They Where So Bright I Could Hardly Look At Him For So Long And Without Looking Him In The Face I Said Yes To Him In A Soft Light Voice And He Pulled Me Up Closer To Him With The Two Fingers He Was Holding Me With. He Said "You Know Now Is The Time For You Stand Up Against The Shadows That Haunted You Along Time Ago. The Shadows That You Though Where Not Real Are Now Real. So Stand Beside Me In This Time Of Need And Help Those Who You Loved So Much" And I Looked At Him And Said I Cannot Do That. And He Slowly Put Me Back On The Ground As We Where Floating Above My Door Way. And He Said "You Will Change Your Mind Sooner Or Later But Remember Im Here For You If You Need Me And Do Not Let The Darkness Talk You Into Anything You Do Not Wont To Do" And I Looked At Him And Said Thank You As All I Could Do In This Time Of What Was Happening. And He Took Flight Up And Slowly Glided To The Right Of Me And Disappeared And As I Looked Above I Seen The Most Beautifulest Things That I Have Ever Seen In My Life.

 

 They Where Covered In Golded Armor And Had Two White Wings Of Diamonds. They Where So Beautiful They Had Crowns Of Golden Rubys And Jades With Roses Sticking Out The Side Of Them With Swords And Shields In Each Hand. They Where Out To Fight These Shadows This Angel Spoke Of. And As I Walked Out Into The Street. I Was Still Watching Them Fly Above Me With There Screams Of Silent Vengeance. And As I Turn To Look Behind Me. Slowly Turning I Saw And Huge Figure Walking Behind Me. As I Looked At This Monstrosity And Saw The Horror That The Angel Spoke Of. I Saw The Shadow Of This Demon Trampling Toward Me. And What I Saw Was Only In The Images Of Books And What I Heard And Read In The Holy Bible About. This Great Red Dragon. Having Seven Heads And Ten Horns And Seven Crowns Apon His Heads. I Felt Chills Run Down My Spine As He Got Closer As The Glass In The Houses All Around Me Shattered With Force With Each Foot Step This Demon Took. I Know Who He Was. I Know His Name. This Was The Beast From The Bible. They Called Him Lucifer. The Devil. The Shadow Of Darkness. For This Moment I Know I Was Going To Die But In The Time Of The Great Beast Stopped With All Four Feet. And The Thunderest Cracks In His Necks Sounded Like Thunder From The Skys Slowly Bent Down Slightly And Spoke To Me With The Horrifying Voice That Creepled My Legs And Feet. He Was So Inmense. So Huge I Was Almost Crying At The Point I Though All This Was A Dream But As I Looked Back Up. He Was Still There. And I Know This Is Not A Dream This Is Real As It Gets I Thought To Myself. And He Spoke The Words To Me That I Will Never Forget "On This Day I Waged War On Heaven And Now Im Here For My Souls That Belong To Me" I Was Speach Less. I Could Not Say Anything. And Then As Those Red Glowing Eyes Looked At Me. He Asked Me A Question That Was Unheard Of. He Asked "I Seen You Before And I Know Who You Are But I Dont Know Which Side Your On. So I Ask Of You Will You Join The Shadows And Demons Of This Eternal Night" And With The Last Air Of Breath I Said No I Cannot. As He Looked At Me With Those Blinking Red Eyes That Where On Fire As His Breath Was Of The Smell Of Brimstone And Rotten Flesh. He Said "Then So Be It But You Will Change Your Mind Sooner Or Later And Which You Will Join Me On My New Throne" As The Heads Of This Great Red Dragon Arose Back Up Into The Clouds And As He Trampled Across And Above Me He Passed With Thunderest Foot Steps And As I Saw The Two Red Tails Of The Devil Him Self Disappeared Into The Dark And Red Skys Behind Me As The Screaming Still Continued.

 

 I Stood There And Looked All Around Me And Then I Looked At My Hands And What I Saw Shocked Me. Something That I Would Never Believe But Was Real. My Left Hand Was Changing Into A Hard Blackend Hand As My Arm Was Turning The Same Thing Now With My Veins Turning Into Lava As This Lava Flowed Into My Veins It Burned So Horribly I Wanted It To Stop But It Did Not. And As This Was Going On I Looked To My Right Hand And Saw It To Start Glowing Bright With White Light And It Felt So Good To Me I Was Starting To Enjoy The Right Hand More Than The Left. I Started To Notice That My Pants Where Changing Colors. The Left Side Was Changing To Pure Black And The Right To Pure White As By Boots With The Same Colors On The Same Sides. And Then My Eyes Where Starting To Change. The Left Was Hurting As I Started To See Black And With A Glow Around It As My Right Eye Felt Good As It Started To Glow With White Light. But This All Made No Sence To Me. What Was Happening To Me. Why Me. What Did I Do. But Then On My Left Side On My Back At My Sholders Started To Hurt With Pain. This Pain Was So Bad I Could Not Stand It Any More. As I Fell To My Left Knee As My Right Hand On My Right Knee And With My Left Hand On The Ground I Felt My Skin Starting To Split Apart And The Pain Grew Even More. It Hurt So Bad I Was Crying At This Point In Time. But Then I Felt Something Move And Slowly Slide Out Of My Back. As The Pain Still Was There I Looked To My Left And Around To See What It Was. Then I Saw The Horror That Was Within Me. It Was A Black Hardend Wing Of Terror And With Lava Running Through The Veins Of This Wing I Felt Something To Start Moving Upward On My Right Side Of My Back At The Sholder On The Right. But I Did Not Feel Any Pain But As I Looked To My Right And Around To See What It Was. I Saw A Beautiful White Bright Wing Come Forth Out Of My Back. It Was So Beautiful It Looked Liked It Had Diamonds In It As The Angels That Pasted Me By. And With This All Going On I Noticed That My Shirt Had Been Riped Off By The Wings That Sprang From Within Me. Then My Chest Started To Hurt On The Left Side As I Saw This Dark Light Push Through My Skin As It Made A Tattoo Like Design On My Left Side And Then A White Light Made Its Way Through And Made The Same Intations On The Right. With The Left Side Glowing Black Redish Light Coming Out Of My Chest And Stomach As The Right Was Glowing A Bright White Light. And Then My Head Started To Hurt. The Left Side Was Hurting So Bad I Felt So Much Pain I Fell To Both My Knees And Hands. While On The Ground I Felt The Sharpest Pain Throught My Head As It Felt Like It Was Splitting. And Then A Horn On The Left Side Started To Emerg Out. As It Slid Out And Was Sharp With The Colors Of The Wing On My Left Side. It Was Horror But It Was Happening To Me. But Why.

 

Then My Finger Nails On Both Sides Started To Grow With Sharpness. As The Pain Started To Fade Away I Used All My Energy To Stand Up And In Front Of Me Was A House With A Window Left. As I Saw My Reflection Off This Window I Could Not Believe With My Own Eyes What I Have Become. Something That Was Beyond Imagination. I Was Half Angel And Half Demon. As I Stumpled Backwards From The Window I Screamed With All I Had Within Me. I Tried To Take It Off. I Tried To Wipe It Off But Nothing Was Happening To Me. Was This A Curse I Thought To My Self. Maybe I Was The One To Put An End To The War That Was Going On The Great War Between Heaven And Hell. Could I Do This I Thought To Myself. And I As Seen It As It Came To Me. I Know Now That I Am The One To Stand In The Middle Of The War And See To It That This Ends Of This Day. But As My Thoughts Ran Through My Head I Started To Remember My Wife And Childern And Family And Friends. I Thought To My Self What Will Happen If I Stop The Great War. What Will Happen To Them. Will I See Them Again. Will I Get To Hold Them Again. Will I Get To See Them One More Time If I Die On This Day. Then I Started To Remember The Great Times I Had With My Wife And Childern. I Started To See Images Of Them As I Smiled Standing There In The Street. And Then I Seen My Destiny In Front Of Me. I Know Now That I Did Make A Choice. I Did Decide On Which Side I Would Be On. I Made A Choice To See To It That I Was In The Middle. And Now My Curse Is To Stop This War. Now The Begining Of The End Has Started And I Know That Im The One To Do Something About It. I Am The One Who Will Show Them All That There Is Nothing More Worth Fighting For Than To Have A Human Heart. And Within This Human Heart That Is Still Within Me. I Will Fight Until The End. Because I Know Im Good And Evil. I Am Love And Hate. And I Am Light And Darkness In One. I Am The Ultimate One And This Is My Story Of A New Chapter In The End.

Reviews

[John Curry]

I really appreciate the way that you push yourself in your writing... but the way that you've written it makes it hard for me to go through the entire story.
If you want, I can proof read it for you. As it's been said before; you're not a bad writer, you just have to work on your sentence structure( i.e: fragments) and you have to work on your capitalization.

[Aries]

I agree with Legion.. your writing style isn't necessarily bad, but the capitalisation is an eyesore, to be honest. I can understand wanting to have a distinct style, but it definitely disturbs the reading process the way you have it, for me anyway.

I did however manage to read through this. Your story had consistent grammatical errors, including sentence structure, "your/you're" and the like, and there wasn't much of a flow... The stories' cliche nature aside, I think if you can normalise the capitalisation and have someone proofread it, it will be at least more aesthetically pleasing.

[Legion]

Okay, I was trying to read this because the title caught my eye (for personal reasons) but couldn't get through it. Not that what I was reading was bad, but the writing style was making it difficult to follow. Try rewriting it without capitalizing every word. Also, break it up a bit (paragraphs) so it makes it easier on the eyes of the reader. If you redo this, let me know and I'll review it for you again.