Ashinoooh Shima.......

The wonder of bearing children and Mothers....thoughts of Shima.

 
I was 49 years old when my mother left this world.

In quiet moments after her passing, I pondered the wonderful gift I was given. In Navajo they say.. your mother is the first person to show you "keh" relationship by holding you closely to her heart, she observes and teaches you (the newborn) about keh by breastfeeding you, as she holds and talks to you softly. Your mother is the first person to show you the meaning of love. When you are nurtured, you learn how precious you are. You are validated. You matter. Your whole prespective of happiness and positive affirmation is established. You learn how to value yourself. Your self esteem is set, on the behavior of those around you and how you are taken care of. From the beginning of memory, or even before the capacity of language, the imprint of positive experiences are ingrained in your brain. If you are not given this your ability to interact with those around you will be affected, your ability to interact with others depends on how you feel about yourself. Confidence and self assurance is developed through a mirroring of experiences you have had with those closest to you. Bonding with your newborn baby is essential to the well being of your child. Mothers can love even the most vulnerable or handicapped babies, appearance does'nt matter. Your nurturing of that baby when very vulnerable and helpless, bonds that baby to you, you will see your baby as beautiful, unequifically perfect in every sense, hence the saying "only a mother could love that baby". What a grand creator to have thought of this. That is why mothers can accept the weaknesses of their children, you love unconditionally. It doesnt matter if your child does things that you may not like, you will love that baby despite that, you will go through pain and torment for your baby, because you love them no matter what. You are responsible for teaching them, the appropiate way to act. They rely completely on you, and your actions speak louder then your words.
In the bible I read a scripture in the book of Psalms that describes how ingenious Creator is in how he created us humans. "In a awe -inspiring way I am wonderfully made." We five fingered beings are truly a work.
I am blessed to have had the experience of a loving nurturing mother as a child. Despite the problems of alcolholism, and the negative fall out of this, I was nurtured. She gifted me with the idea that I mattered, I was loved, I was important, ahehee shima. Now as a woman, I need to also give this to my babies. Ashinooh shima...
I miss you so much shima, I wish I could bury my head in your lap once more and feel your hand on my head, so gently and lovingly you would caress my hair, so many memories of how you would turn my upside down world right side up, from the time I was a baby crying to be reassured to the end when as a grown woman with a broken heart I would tell you my deepest fears, you listened. Your clear concise way of looking at life, problems could become bearable again, you would be very quick to get to the point and what needed to be done. I miss you. Sometimes I think back to the first time I was separated from you at eight years old for placement program. I had never been away from you from the time that I was born I would sleep every night by your side. Now far away in a place that I had never been, I remember missing you so much I felt physical pain, there was an ache in my chest and the lump in my throat was unbearable. I would go outside because there at least I could gain a little comfort knowing that somewhere under that same sky, you were somewhere underneath the same sky. As time went by the pain eased and I came to learn that I could make it through separation. The knowledge that you were most likely thinking of me also comforted me. Now as a grown woman I still go outside and gain comfort in this same way, I look to the stars or the clouds to try to reach you, because I know you are still there somewhere watching over me. Now it is my turn to remember your teachings and to show my children your legacy, so that they will be well equipped for life's lessons.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"Your mother is the first person to show you the meaning of love. "
I agree with the words in this story. Woman have great responsibilities. To teach love and how to conduct a proper life to their children. I like the way you explained the love of mother and child. Thank you for sharing the outstanding story of a mother's love.
Coyote

[Chris]

You speak well and with caring... we each have our own reasons and live life beyond society's excuses. You've strong thoughts within your words... thoughts of worth and power.

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

I am crying, tears of sadness, and tears of joy. Much, much love you share, Eileen.

[Jaweena...Eileen Quinta..]

I wrote this many years back when my mother left.