When You See a Stranger

When You See a Stranger

A Poem by JayG
"

A bit of silliness for the kids. Prosody is a bit off and there are inconsistencies stanza-to-stanza, but luckily, kids don't notice

"

When You See a Stranger

A question for kids

 

 

You see a stranger on the street

Where would you go, if you wore his feet?

 

Is he kind to his children? Is he nice to his wife?

Or is his day troubled…and filled with strife?

 

With what kind of treat does he end his meal?

Is it ice cream and pie, or crackers with eel?

 

Is reddish purple his favorite hue?

Or greenish red, all mixed with blue?

 

Does he drive a car or row a boat?

Fly an eagle…or ride a goat?

 

How does he get where he hopes to be?

Perhaps he swings from tree-to-tree?

 

Is his family nice or zombie-esque?

Do they call to talk or only text?

 

Do they read a book or do they dance?

When danger calls do they take a chance?

 

But, asking that, a thought occurs.

Would they like your world?

Would you like theirs?

© 2024 JayG


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Also... Here, JayG...
Since you are so keen on enforcing "professional" critiques on writers who literally did not ask for them...
https://www.reddit.com/r/poetry_critics/?rdt=58594
That is a link to a reddit page with MANY avid critics, like yourself!
Plus, your behavior is not only encouraged, it is mandated to even post/join!
So why stir up all this trouble, if you TRULY aim only to help less fortunate writers than yourself...
Pages that writers actually ASK for your critiques exist! GO TO THEM!
It might just be one of the MOST PRODUCTIVE ways you could go about doing... Whatever it is you believe in your heart of hearts you are accomplishing by trolling new writers on a dead poetry site.
God bless, and cheers!

Posted 1 Year Ago


6 of 7 people found this review constructive.

i don't know, JayG! would they like my world? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ;) i like the whimsy .. lots of childlike appeal says i! thanks for sharing
E..

Posted 1 Year Ago


Does he drive a car or row a boat?
Fly an eagle…or ride a goat?

I pondered there, for a second,

Does he drive a car or row a boat?
Fly an eagle…or build a moat?

the beginning starts it for the reader, then the others begin to dissovle the intent...

then this:

Is his family nice or zombie-esque?
Do they call to talk or only text?

Or may be this instead:

Is his family nice or quite perplex?
Do they call to talk or only text?

Just a couple lines to play with words...

Good day....enjoy the weekend!!!

Posted 1 Year Ago


0 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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15974 Views
145 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on October 9, 2021
Last Updated on May 13, 2024

Author

JayG
JayG

Elkins Park, PA



About
I've been actively writing fiction for about 40 years and have been offered, and signed, 7 publishing contracts. I have a total of 31 books available at booksellers at the moment. I've taught writing .. more..