When You See a Stranger

A bit of silliness for the kids. Prosody is a bit off and there are inconsistencies stanza-to-stanza, but luckily, kids don't notice

When You See a Stranger

A question for kids

 

 

You see a stranger on the street

Where would you go, if you wore his feet?

 

Is he kind to his children? Is he nice to his wife?

Or is his day troubled…and filled with strife?

 

With what kind of treat does he end his meal?

Is it ice cream and pie, or crackers with eel?

 

Is reddish purple his favorite hue?

Or greenish red, all mixed with blue?

 

Does he drive a car or row a boat?

Fly an eagle…or ride a goat?

 

How does he get where he hopes to be?

Perhaps he swings from tree-to-tree?

 

Is his family nice or zombie-esque?

Do they call to talk or only text?

 

Do they read a book or do they dance?

When danger calls do they take a chance?

 

But, asking that, a thought occurs.

Would they like your world?

Would you like theirs?

Reviews

[Brad Dehler]

Most charitably- one could like the flip of perspective. We often are stuck in our own first person scenario. This also begs to reduce the judgementalness that can occur when perceiving the lives of others. I looked forward to reading more from you Jay. "Fly an eagle or row a boat" lol, whimsical as well as introspective but very simple. And then it makes one wonder what really is this rhyming all about. You get a pass for saying its for children... but it gets into non-child-like areas like "nice to his wife", sacrificing child entertainment for a rhyme scheme that leaves us empty. This seems like a decent start but needs work.

[keysNcages]

I love it !. I personally write about strangers alot myself . I just found this place today so im browsing trying to get a feel of what this is like . I love strangers , the mystery ! Excellent poem thank you

[Shannon]

I love it; this is the kind of work I’ve been hoping to find and enjoy on platforms like this. That last line… it’s perfect how it breaks form and grabs your attention; the nursery rhyme has ended, welcome to Earth.

[Linda Stinson Wells]

I would assume that it would all depend on first impressions. You wrote a poem that rhymed. Of course this is the first poem I have read of yours. Good work my friend.
LSW

[Cailin]

The second stanza was the one that seemed to be difficult for me with tempo. I do enjoy the silly stanzas mixed with realistic ones. Nice choices of words, and there is a cohesive story as one reads through your poem. I am hopeful they would like my world. Take care!
Cailin

[W. Barrett Munn]

I like that you subtitled this a question for kids as that adds meaning to a well-constructed and intriguing poem.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Jay,

You have clearly penned a most witty and contemplative little poem to set even an old fart's imagination to whirring and stirring ... A very enjoyable read ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[Paniel LeReux]

Amazing. Love this. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

[Ranger Kessel]

Wild imagery and putting the reader in the characters shoes. An awesome write. Best wishes

[CLR9]

Well like, who cares. There are 7.8 billion in the world. They all poop and breath and want things from other people.

[JayG]

Who cares about others? Most people. It's called empathy.

Without it, in a world of 7.8 billion, you're alone.

"As you sow, so shall you reap," is a very old sentiment. And it's true. Take the needs and desires of others into account. Help them, and they will do the same for you. Treat them as lesser beings, and...

[CLR9]

Nah. Most people only care about what they get from other people. They disguise it with words like empathy. this is how Buffalo Bill killed so many women in Silence of the Lambs. Ever hear about a wolf in sheep skin? Crappy argument. Do better.

[JayG]

Have you not noticed that of all the responses to this piece yours is the ONLY one of its kind?
read more Have you not noticed that of all the responses to this piece yours is the ONLY one of its kind?

• Buffalo Bill killed so many women in, Silence of the Lambs.

Were you right in your outlook, everyone would be doing it. Presenting a sample of one and calling it proof is a specious argument.

Obviously, you've been hanging with the wrong people. Believe the worst of people and you'll act on that—inviting exactly the response you expect.