Nightfall Bring My Doom

Written when I was heavily addicted.

Sunken in the crypt of my heart
I call home

It’s dark and dead; I dwell in the comfort of the cold

And the day, it urges on
To uncover the Earth here
I turn my back on fire ridden skies
As long as my lover stays near.

Hush, belly.
We’ll get well soon
Cornered in a city impaled by the moon..

Starving, glittering nightfall
Our begging palms all know their doom.

Here is a monster
Embraced by the twinkle in my eyes.
It’s sadness; stillborn, dramatic, uncertain demise.

Nightfall bring my doom
In a panic and a puncturing gloom

Nightfall bring my doom
By wolves fangs in a sound guarded room

In the grave
I wait for nightfall to bring my doom.

By day I am a captive of sickness

A threat; skin like snow
Heart like coal, I linger around weakness
For miles all around I find it all hopeless.
Wreaking havoc and
Hoping no one will take notice.

I wait, trembling excitedly
For a poison on its way soon
As nightfall brings my doom
In darkness pulled over me in
My tomb.

Nightfall bring my doom
And take all that is left to consume.

I’m lost in a lake unkeen to
The monsters it keeps
Down in the clouded, shadowed deep.
Down with the devil, relasing black, I seethe
Without the night I am unable to breathe.
So I wait, impatiently swimming,
For a deep breath on the move
Hoping it all ends quickly
Under jagged rocks I resume

To anticipate nightfall’s cursed doom.

Author's Note

My year clean date will be September 21st 2012

Reviews

[cilla]

I thought this was an extraordinary poem not simply for subject matter but for the structure and rhyme scheme that create a world where everything is a repetition and everything is inevitable. It seems you laid bare your soul here and it is that sense of honesty serves validate the experience. It is a nightmarish world where sleep never serves as an escape. It is a very conscious experience of descending through the rings of hell with the knowledge that it all simply happening again.

I love the way you were able to constantly repeat "doom" ... rhyming it with a series of different words. It gave the poem a very lyrical flow ... almost songlike ... it reads beautifully while coming back again and again to the realization that there is no escape.

This is a strong and powerful work and I believe you have succeeded in recreating the hellish world of addiction. Kudos to you for this powerful work and even more so for your success in escaping this world of addiction.

Also, let me mention that I read some of your later postings and was impressed with the way you defended your work and your writing style. "Constructive criticism" can be a very subjective quality and often difficult for the writer understand and respond to. I thought you did an admirable job; especially the way you took the time to explain your work.

I will look again at your later postings but this one was just too good to let go without commenting.

[Jazmen]

Hey, thank you so much for your great review.. I really loved reading your thoughts on this piece and other things, thank you again. When I get a chance I'll be sure to check your work out as well.

[MoriartyMesa]

Well to be clean rocks and so does this work. The emotion and pain that the reader feels is nothing less than a kick to the ribs and the form of the emotion is nice and brutal.