Broken Promises

As the poem progresses, the syllables in each line become longer which I think is effective because it shows how relationships can become more complicated.

A heartfelt promise to always be there

And a heartfelt promise to always care.

A heartfelt promise to live for the day

And a heartfelt promise never to stray.

 

All these promises, though, were pledged in vain

And their demise, along with love, caused much heartache and pain.

 

A broken promise resulting in tears

And a broken promise resulting in endless fears.

A broken promise resulting in tainted memories…

A broken promise resulting in life-long enemies.

 

A promise is never truly sincere,

Whether made by a stranger or someone held dear.

Reviews

[I Cast a Shadow]

I like this poem but I do not love it. I love the repetition because it is almost confusing adding to the theme. However, it also seems too redundant at times. I also think that you may want to use the words "a" and "and" far less. I find them to be littering in some poetry and in many circumstances I find myself throwing them in the first draft and then omitting them and replacing syllables with other words later. E.g. If you have a line that writes, "And a sun with rays that doth shine" it may sound more effective if the more simple words that add nothing but syllable space are replaced and transformed into powerful and effective imagery like a line with the same syllables, "Sun rays strike warm blindly doth shine". Sorry to go on and on. I'm finding these things as years go by.

[....]

Broken promises really hurt people. I haet it when people say Trust me and then "Wham!" it's broken just like that. This had a wonderful flow and rhyme scheme. Enjoyed....xo