A Senryu Night

Night filled with bad dreams

Panic, fear; tear stained pillow

Alarm brings relief

Author's Note

First attempt at Senryu. Syllables are in 5-7-5 format.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a great senryu . . . in these very short poems, I'm looking for word choices that are packed with sensation & meaning, since there are so few words to work with. You've done that very well here, painting a vivid scenario with an interesting twist in the last line. Well done!

[andrew mitchell]

So true! How the alarm becomes the rescuer . Nice senryu.

[V]

I really like this one, reads different from what you usually write, I think but well. I'd even say this is your best up to date.

[JBoone]

Thank you very much.

[V]

My pleasure.

[GalaxyGhost]

This is really good! Captures a whole scene in three lines. I also can relate to this because I have had nightmares before, but saved by the bell (TV show reference, anyone?). The only time an alarm won't save is during a night terror or sleep paralysis - it's the worst!

[JBoone]

Thank you very much.

[GalaxyGhost]

you're welcome!

[Hyacinth]

Bad dream? Described wonderfully. Good work!

[JBoone]

Thank you.

[GreenShoes]

Wow, that sounds like a really rough night! Nice senryu, and that title was eye-catching.

[JBoone]

Thank you. I appreciate it. Trying to improve.