A Moment in Spain

Staying the night in Ibiza

A spray of stars across the sky

 

Café umbrellas in bloom below my window,

The guitar starting in among the chatter,

 

my hair captures the wind

As I watch the moonlight swim towards me across the sea.

 

Reviews

[LJW]

Again, beautiful imagery. A beautiful snapshot of a place in time.

I would suggest ....

Staying the night in Ibiza
A spray of stars across the sky

Cafe umbrellas bloom below my window
A guitar joins in among (st?) the chatter

The lightness of my dress captures the wind
As the moonlight floats toward (s?)me across the sea

Suggestions for edits are my opinion. I do not mean to offend.

[JenniferMarie]

I like suggestions. They are helpful. I like to know what the reader thinks or feels.

Thank you,
Jennifer

[JenniferMarie]

reader/fellow poets.

[Angi]

Lovely imagery, Jennifer. I have never been to Spain, but I can feel myself sitting there, feeling the magic carried in that wind. 'The lightness of my dress captured by the wind' is so beautiful, I can see the fabric billow. Angi~

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Angi. It's cool to know what people see so thank you for your comment.

[Traci]

You've painted a lovely picture of Ibiza and captured wonderful memories in so few lines, not always an easy thing to do. This leaves me wanting to hop on the next plane to Spain.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you. I appreciate your review.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I can't wait the day I go back to Spain... Just a lot of friends and sites to see... this embraces a moment... lots of action in 6 lines...

[JenniferMarie]

I know how you feel. I miss it. Thank you for your review Glen.

[SteveB]

Beautiful imagery particularly the umbrellas in bloom and the moonlight swimming across the sea. Very nicely done. Being extremely descriptive while not being mere narrative is difficult but you did it well.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Steve. I enjoy writing and learn everytime I write something as I'm sure you do too. Comments are helpful so thank u.

[Tate Morgan]

What i wouldnt give to visit there

[JenniferMarie]

It's a beautiful country. :) Thank you for your comment.

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

lovely experience shared. great Spain with immense pleasure in the heart. Good write.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you for your comment Kaa Na :)

[Kenilo Kent]

Lovely moments are indeed captured to be forever...

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you for your nice comment Kenilo. I appreciate it.

[Kenilo Kent]

The pleasure is mine. I love poetry as my life!

[Samuel Dickens]

This is lovely. Spain is a wondrous country to visit.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Samuel. I studied there in college and miss it. It is, like you said, wondrous. :)

[zainul]

So soft and pleasant experience!

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Zainul. I appreciate your comment. happy writing. :)

[zainul]

You are most welcome Jennifer
It is really a great pleasure :)