Rainbow: High (part 8)

I stayed in the hospital for two more days before they released me to my mother, so I could go home. I hadn’t stopped crying since the doctor told me about the baby. No one deserves to go through something like that, born or not. I was physically disgusted with David, and couldn’t even say his name without feeling that disgust multiplied by a million.

My mother picked me up, tears in her eyes and an empty tissue box in the backseat. There was a baby seat there too, already set up, and waiting. I starred at it, wondering why my mother would even bother if it was already gone.

“I didn’t think... I mean I thought...” She blew her nose into the tissue in her hand, as she grasped the steering wheel with the other, shaking quite badly.

“Mom, it’s going to be oka-” I didn’t have time to finish my sentence before she began crying again, shoving her face into the steering wheel, shielding her from my vision. I looked down at the ground, feeling the burn of my arms as I just stood there.

This was all my fault, and I didn’t know how to make my mother feel any better about losing her, would be, first born grandchild.

I grabbed the door handle, and held it in my hand for a moment, before pulling the door open, and sitting beside my sobbing mother. I placed my cold pale hand on her shoulder, in an attempt to comfort her. She lifted her head to look at me, her eyes rimmed with red as she clasped hard onto the steering wheel.

“It’ll all be okay mom, you’ll see.” I said, smiling and acting honest and thoughtful. I shoved all my depressing emotions and thoughts down into the pit of my stomach, and tried to be happy. If I wasn’t going to be happy, she at least had to be. I knew having a depressed mother would make this transition very difficult, and hurt her more than me.

“Let’s go home, I’ll drive,” I said, motioning for the keys in her hand. She dropped them into my hand without a word, and got out of the car. She stood there, for a moment, attempting to adjust her make-up, before turning back to me.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay to drive?” She asked her voice rough and hoarse. I gave a weak smile and honked the horn.

“I think I’ll be okay.”

 

 

Once we arrived home, I went up to my room, trying to block out the memories of the step incident with David. Once I reached the top step, I looked back down and saw small stains of red all the way down.

I heard my mom begin to walk up the stairs, her sobbing finally beginning to end. I was glad that she was beginning to calm down, so maybe tonight I could have some good crying time before I was rushed back to the hospital. I was not looking forward to this whole birth thing; in fact, it was what I had been trying to avoid this whole time. Ever since we had been forced to watch a birth video in the 8^th grade, I swore to never have children. As most teenagers, my views did eventually change to whenever I found the right guy, then possibly. Since that day never came, I still didn’t want to do it.

As I entered my room, I noticed that the window was still open, with a small puddle of water beneath it. I sighed, and grabbed a towel off my computer desk. Though my room was cleaner than it had been over the previous few years, it still had its smaller messes. As I bent down to wipe up the water, I took a quick glance out of the window.

I saw a small flash, and then nothing.

The world went completely dark, and I was left stumbling around in nothingness.

I was confused, and tried to move, but felt nothing. I couldn’t feel, and I couldn’t see. I let out a loud blood curling scream, trying to signal my mom, or something, but nothing happened. No one came to help me.

 

 

When I awoke, I was still lying on my floor, the mess all cleaned up and the window still open. I sat up, slightly shocked that I could move now and not before. I inhaled a huge gulp of air, and released it slowly, trying to collect myself.

I felt tears come to my eyes, as I started to cry, my face falling into my cold hands. I felt my laboured breath escape though my lips, my chest beginning to ach and hurt, as I listened to the sound of water flowing. What was going on with me that left me lying on the floor, paralysed?

It was the same thing that happened the first time I woke up at the hospital; completely paralysed, and confused. I thought it was the side effect of some kind of drug, but now it seemed like more. Much more was going on that I never realized, and it scared me; it scared me to know that for once in my life, I was out of control of my own body. I didn’t know what I could do, or who I could tell. Could I tell my mother without her freaking out and crying again? Could I tell the doctor? Wouldn’t that send me into the hospital for another few weeks?

I stood up, my knees feeling weak under my body weight, and walked over to my bed. I plopped myself down and tried to calm myself, closing my eyes and trying to focus on happy, positive things.

That’s when I heard it; a heart stopping scream that made my blood run cold. It came from the hallway just outside my room. I ran to the door, in fear that it could be my mother in dire need of me, but what I saw scared me more than anything that was running through my head.

Outside my room was David, holding hands with the small boy that I had seen in the hospital. The boy was covered in blood, with a huge scar crossing his face from the bottom of his left eye, to the top of his lip. David was smiling a wide, evil smile, as he looked between me and the boy.

“Do you remember me Violet?” The boy asked, as I struggled to remember his name. I went through about 4 names before blurting it out.

“Robbie, you’re Robbie.” I said, fighting back the tears forming in my eyes. David let out a small laugh, as he released Robbie’s hand, and grabbed me by the throat. His grip was hard, as it became harder and harder to breath. My arms rose to his, pulling at his hand in an attempt to escape. David was stronger than I remembered, but I never really asked him to try and choke me to death, so I never really knew.

“David,” I managed to say, the air barley escaping past my lips, as he starred at me in confusion.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s just denying her fate.” Robbie said anger within his small voice. I tried to say more, but I had no more air left in my lungs. The world went black, and the last thing I felt before passing out, was my body slamming into the hard floor of the hall.

 

 

The next thing I could see was a bright white light, growing brighter and brighter. I tried to raise my hand to cover my eyes, but found that I was unable to move again, and was stuck starring at the bright light.
I was dying, I could tell. Where else would there be a bright white light? I knew that hospitals had bright white lights, but this seemed brighter, like the sun.

I blinked, trying to find my body and move something.

Anything to prove that I wasn’t dead.

I could find nothing more than my own eyes, with the rest of my body disconnected from my mind.

Am I dead yet? I thought, trying to feel something else other than confusion and loss. I began to feel a pinch in the corner of my left arm. I had felt it a million times over, and knew exactly what it was: a needle.

I looked over to where my arm would be, but saw nothing but darkness, but the pain remained. I closed my eyes, as I felt the immediate high take over what was left of me.

 

 

I was flying again; the wind passed through my hair, and the world that was left around me seemed to evaporate. The white light that I had grown accustom to seeing turned into a dim light; nothing more than a firefly in the distance.

I began to feel my body again, being able to wiggle my toes and fingers. I celebrated this small victory, and enjoyed what was left of the high. It was all very hard to concentrate on something for more than a minute or two, without my mind noticing something small and unimportant around me. I could feel sand around my feet, enveloping my ankles and shins. It was warm, as I tilted my head back and imagined the bright yellow sun shining down on me.

Before I realized it, I could feel it warming my face and stomach. In fact, it was almost burning my stomach, as I felt a gentle burning in the center of my skin. I tried to think of somewhere cool, away from the sun and its burning power. My mind immediately went to the day me and David stood outside Mona’s parents house, feeling the rain fall gently onto my shoulders and face.

Then I heard a noise, it started off quiet, soon blaring into my ears at a rapid rate; one name that seemed to snap me right out of my unconscious high.

“Violet!”