The Calming Effect of Breathing

Finding unbelievable answers in unexpected places.

I am lying on the ground

all I see are the dark shapes that surround

I remember not how I came here

for my entire body, a thousand daggers do sear

Though I twist and turn about, I remain encaged

and steadily I become more enraged

There are others like me

and beside them a man I see

I am angered at the sight of Him

How could He do this to them?

As I think this He approaches me

and I greet Him with respect as they have coached me

I resume my twisting to which He says, "Cease"

At this my voice begins to increase

"'Cease' You say. Why in this pain must I stay?"

"Please only do as I say"

I disregard this reply in distrust

and fix my eyes on the footprints in the dust

Others are escaping, and I must know how

The man says, "Please, heal yourself by listening to me now"

The urgency in His voice

tells me this is the right choice

So in this moment I surrender

my attempts at freedom, which these daggers do hinder

On His face is a look of delight

as I surrender this fight

However, much to my suprise

comes a change in my demise

A sense of healing overcomes as these daggers lift

and I am overwhelmed by this unexpected gift

He throws my daggers against a wall

I try to walk, yet I am weak and fall

He catches me and puts me on his shoulder

as the dark shapes become more colorful and bolder

I realize now we are on a heavenly beach

and of this fact He has been trying to teach

Remembering songs of long ago, I look at His footprints in the sand

and rejoice at His healing hand

After a moment we begin to soar

and all my pain is here no more

As we begin to take flight

I realize that in surrendering this fight

I did not give in

I merely chose to win.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I like the title, which would capture my attention in any queue of read requests. I am not religious myself but I do like conviction writing even if I don't share the conviction. The rhyme is gentle and does not get in the way or feel forced. But more than anything I like the personal drama of the situation. Poem is also very positive and optimistic which is uplifting. So I enjoyed it. I could almost imagine George Fox or William Blake feeling this. I think they would nod approvingly at the nourishing quality of faith you nail to the page.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

This to me certainly demonstrates faith and the giving over of ones will perhaps to another or a greater being in order to be healed of their travails. A powerful and moving write indeed. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Enigma]

Your poem reminds me of the song 'Footprints in the Sand'. Maybe you were inspired by the same...
In any case, this is a brilliant writing. I felt all the up and downs like I'm the girl in the poem. It's great that you've written it in the first person form. That way, all thos who read it, easily know what all is going on in the poet's mind.
I enjoyed reading it all the way through. It shows a gradual maturity when you decide to surrender and later come to know "that you only chose to win"...Oh! I love the last two lines.
Over all, great job!! Keep writing....^_^

[Enigma]

Your poem reminds me of the song 'Footprints in the Sand'. Maybe you were inspired by the same...
In any case, this is a brilliant writing. I felt all the up and downs like I'm the girl in the poem. It's great that you've written it in the first person form. That way, all thos who read it, easily know what all is going on in the poet's mind.
I enjoyed reading it all the way through. It shows a gradual maturity when you decide to surrender and later come to know "that you only chose to win"...Oh! I love the last two lines.
Over all, great job!! Keep writing....^_^

[Raja]

...but we merely choose to retreat, right!! :)

I just love your say.

[Tai Chi Italy]

Ths is a truly philosophical and beautiful piece of your heart heather! The journey of life is often a fight, we fight, against time, against the tide of life, sometimes wishing to away, sometimes not wishing to see another light of day. To give up the fight and just accept life, is the key to healing and tranquility. A very pleasant first read and I look forward to reading more of you....smiling at you friend, Tai

[CharlieO]

This is a good write, well written, powerful and positive.
Your use of imagery is very powerful - I think it was emotive and you definately got across a sense of fauth and strength - obviously this is just my personal opinion and this may not have been what you were going for.
I also liked your use rhyming couplets - I think they always give a sense of wholeness - again that is just me. It is difficult to do at times so congrations on how well you used it.
I know that you new on here so I would just like to say that this is a great first post - I look forward to reading more of your writing. Congrats again on such a good write - keep up this great work.

[Collins M Gituma]

well written

[Tomás Ó C..]

A great moral in this story. The poem Footprints you namecheck here is of disputed origion, a namesake of mine of Canadian origion Carolyn Carty claims to have written it, but a rhyming version was found in papers dating back to 1926.

Always choose to win!!!

Have a read over my site on http://www.writingsinrhyme.com - Ive poetry there you may like. Say hello when there by signing the Gbook.

[Kaito Asuke]

awesome imagery, I loved the portrait you drew for me in this poem...

a nice sharp and uplifting poem...and indeed an unbelievable answer found in an unexpected place...a very solid poem

rhythmically it had a good flow, and I love your use of "His" instead of "his," giving more meaning to the pronoun usage, signifying his lack of a name, and yet the need to not have a name :P

LOVE IT!

[Sam Freeland]

such beauty in words of hope and determination are rarely seen,
and I have enjoyed the reading immensely. you have the gift and
we will all be enjoying what you write for as long as you care to share,
dear friend. sam