The Calming Effect of Breathing

Finding unbelievable answers in unexpected places.

I am lying on the ground

all I see are the dark shapes that surround

I remember not how I came here

for my entire body, a thousand daggers do sear

Though I twist and turn about, I remain encaged

and steadily I become more enraged

There are others like me

and beside them a man I see

I am angered at the sight of Him

How could He do this to them?

As I think this He approaches me

and I greet Him with respect as they have coached me

I resume my twisting to which He says, "Cease"

At this my voice begins to increase

"'Cease' You say. Why in this pain must I stay?"

"Please only do as I say"

I disregard this reply in distrust

and fix my eyes on the footprints in the dust

Others are escaping, and I must know how

The man says, "Please, heal yourself by listening to me now"

The urgency in His voice

tells me this is the right choice

So in this moment I surrender

my attempts at freedom, which these daggers do hinder

On His face is a look of delight

as I surrender this fight

However, much to my suprise

comes a change in my demise

A sense of healing overcomes as these daggers lift

and I am overwhelmed by this unexpected gift

He throws my daggers against a wall

I try to walk, yet I am weak and fall

He catches me and puts me on his shoulder

as the dark shapes become more colorful and bolder

I realize now we are on a heavenly beach

and of this fact He has been trying to teach

Remembering songs of long ago, I look at His footprints in the sand

and rejoice at His healing hand

After a moment we begin to soar

and all my pain is here no more

As we begin to take flight

I realize that in surrendering this fight

I did not give in

I merely chose to win.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I like the title, which would capture my attention in any queue of read requests. I am not religious myself but I do like conviction writing even if I don't share the conviction. The rhyme is gentle and does not get in the way or feel forced. But more than anything I like the personal drama of the situation. Poem is also very positive and optimistic which is uplifting. So I enjoyed it. I could almost imagine George Fox or William Blake feeling this. I think they would nod approvingly at the nourishing quality of faith you nail to the page.

[Yvette Shaw]

Wow, very powerful write. Your choice of wording is very emotionally stimulating in this piece. It makes me think of struggling, and trying to make sense of something...When all is required, is that it simply be accepted. Well done...Excellent write.

Yvette Shaw

[Windy]

Super job, well written, well thought out and brilliantly put into words many will enjoy reading as did I. good for you,keep up the great work, Windy

[Mistral Bilgera]

this gave me chills.... the power of this poem (plus the power of reading it while listening to switchfoot's dare you to move in string quartet) moved me. :)

[shinybluestars03]

Wow what an awesome poem
Very well thoughtout
I felt like i was there
at that very moment
Thanks for sharing
looking forward in reading
more of your work

Best wishes

[James]

duuuuuuuuuuude, i love it
like the others said it has a lovely flow
it's easy to read
and i love how it related to me
verrrry tiiight =D

[Dysis]

It certainly has a nice flow to it. And I like your word choic. The imagery is also very well.

[xlynne]

nicely done. its flows well together i think but i'm a little confused on what the theme or the plot is

[Mel]

Very eloquent and beautifully written. I myself am not a believer, but you portray a saviour very well. I like how the beginning is cold, filled with fear and pain, but then the narrator gives in to what they believe to be danger, yet they are saved in the end. It just shows that sometimes we have to trust in the unknown to discover our limits. Good job!

[Sixth Moon]

Very dark dramatic happy ended poem. I liked it It felt cold in the beginning and all of a sudden I got this warm feeling inside that Everything is going to be "A" Ok. You illustrated the power of healing quite beautifully in this piece. GREAT JOB !! ^_^

[Mr. Lopez]

Wonderfully written with great imagery. Thanks for this great poem.