She.

Read it with a fast pace!

Its sick how can she be this
She's got everything and nothing to miss
Parents, money, fame and love
I don't know why she wants to be alone

All day she sits and cries
All she does is to whine all night
She cant be happy, even once in a while
She keeps on repeating how things aren't right

She threatens to cut her hands
Fakes tears and determination too
Everyone comes but yet she ain't satisfied
All she says is that, "I want that too!"

She trots in her high heels
Puts on make up like there's no skin to feel
Yet why? Why does she do such things?
Does she want everyone at her feet to kneel?

I can't stand it now, the way she behaves
Acting like everyone is her slave
She ain't depressed, nor a damsel in distress
She's just there, to frill up and dress.

Author's Note

It's a bit akin to rap. Read it with a fast pace! And of course, honest reviews will be appreciated! :)

Reviews

[KWP]

In my honest and humble opinion, I would not write a poem such as this where you are judging another... poetry to me should be connecting with the eternal and not complaining about others, complaining about others is so petty, it brings you down, it brings the reader down too .. I want to feel excited and inspired when I read poems, not feel like somebody is judging another person when the have not lived even for on second looking through the others eyes. Remember, life is not easy, we all have different lessons to learn and see life in our very own unique way.

You have so much ahead of you ... focus on the good and good will fill your soul, when good fills your soul your poetry will jump in leaps and bounds and entice readers to come back again and again :)

just a thought xx

[xDalliance]

I'm so sorry. This opened up a New viewpoint for me. I've always known you should never judge a person and I've always heard that you don't know what they are unless you step into their shoes. But I don't think I remembered all this while writing this poem. I'm very sorry! I'll always try to write things that are better in character. I realize how low this makes me look and how shallow my understanding of the world this would portray.

Thank you for the compliment though about how I have much ahead of me. I will try to concentrate on the good in my life and try to condense it into words. Thank you so very much! :)

[KWP]

Don't be sorry ... I see a lot of poetry on this site where people seem to let life get the better of them ... I have a true sense that you are strong and when you realize that life itself is a celebration then life itself becomes enjoyable ... I only tell you this because you are young and not yet set in your ways :-)

Remember it is only my viewpoint ... I never said I was right .... But you will always get the truth from me ... Sending love to your side of the world xx

[xDalliance]

I'll always be grateful to the little piece of advice you've given me! Your viewpoint matters whether it's wrong or right. Love accepted and double sent to your side of the world! :)

[YSalvatore]

Not bad (: It does have a rap feel to it

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Some people are just like that sadly. And I know how you feel. Nicely written.

Kaze~

[KittyVenus]

yay!!! depressingness!!! i love this its so depressing... yay!!!

[Saddam]

Every one has own life and it might be free to do what they want. Great and strong poetry.

[xDalliance]

Thank you Saddam! :)

[Simran Kewlani]

This poem is really good and it is strong. It is screaming aloud telling people girls are strong and can fight their own wars and live their lives their way.
The concept is amazing. (:

[xDalliance]

Thank you simran! I'm glad you liked it! :)

[Cryingkate]

awe actually I have come to know that there are many a men who want this and desire a woman to act like a Prema Donna..
I never knew this before until maybe 5 yrs ago.... It was Quite a surprise to me.
I thought the Lydia from the bible type good old Girl type was the ultimate desire..I found out I was wrong.
I did see 1 common thread with this type.. They all seem to be very material and pretty much want the kind of woman they can showcase on their arm, till she no longer is a fresh new toy.
Sad isn't it?
I always thought virtues was more of an asset,

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

awesome Hmm? I like it I see girls like this
Money won't give you love nor fill your heart
it will make you Empty inside if you want it and material
things and are never filled with Jesus and no love what so
ever in your heart Seems things are given to her on a Silver platter
now I wasn't poor as a child but my mother wouldn't have this we learned Values
and about god and was always thankful of him and what others did
and I was always a happy bubbly baby and was as a child and still am
even when I am sad thanks to my Lord but money and material things
don't fill me and I am sad in a huge mansion too much space and I like it to
be like homey like a cottage Old historic things old fashion Romantic not into fancy
thing but I will wear fancy things nothing really flashy just more like a modest lady
and like to be comfortable and don't like much attention has always made me uncomfortable
and I get way to overwhelmed Spoiled girl

sounds like she loves the lime light you captured this very well Bravo. blessings

[xDalliance]

Wow the lines you've written are amazing! You've captured the emotion better than me! Thank you for reading it and your blessings! :)

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

Just speaking the Truth just my words not a poem really but thank you. you're are very welcome :) My mother Just raised us to respect our Elders and so much that lacks in some young people today not all of them but a percentage of them are jut so disrespectful and don't know Jesus.

[BlackRose]

Love it! Great piece. :o) No one want's to be around someone like that. Not very fun to be around. Just one small critique, I would instead be outside the box and say in the last stanza reading, I can't stand it now, the way she behaves, is really good but a bit too cliched for me and better when people converse is fine. How about, Will be having none of it, who is she to behave in that highness tone. I hope your not offended. You write really well.

[xDalliance]

Hmm I see what you're trying to say. You are suggesting me to tone down the last stanza since it's a little rude. And no obviously I'm not offended because I've always asked for honest reviews! So for the last stanza, the revised version you presented is very good, but there was a story I had in mind while writing this poem. As always I've failed to present the story fully (according to the story in my head). I had something like this in my mind as the back story : The girl reciting the poem was actually a vv good friend of the girl described in the poem as superficial and hollow, and who only wants fame. The girl is hurt since they were such good friends and now has to face repeated several cutting remarks from her old friend who craves fame. Hence, I've put in the line as given.
Sorry to write so much and sorry if I was rude. Your suggestion was fantastic nut I'm really sorry that it won't fit in with the story in my mind! I still hope you'll continue giving me more honest reviews! :)

[BlackRose]

Oh no, to make it stand out more. Bring the reader in more being different same of others. That's ok. I'm sure the story will be a great one. I myself truthfully don't read much stories unless I somehow come across it and I feel it will reel me in.

And as for not wanting to be around someone like that an all, I meant in real life no would want to. Your very welcome. :o)

[Coyote Poetry]

'She ain't depressed, nor a damsel in distress
She's just there, to frill up and dress."
This is very good poetry. I enjoyed your poetry. Filled with real life, passion and powerful description. One day. I may add your book to my collection. I like this poem. Some people don't see real life. Live in a fantasy world and can't see the truth. Thank you for reading the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[xDalliance]

I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and understood it! Thank you so much coyote! :)