Daydreaming

Figment of my imagination
There you were my only creation
Love is the foundation that keeps me alive
Without you life cannot be true
Insane is what they call me
The pain is far greater
The blame, the shame
I would search far and wide, high and low
For the love that only my heart knows
Figment of my imagination
Silly I know, my only salvation.

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Joce : )
This is my first visit to your pages, and I must say I've had a good time reading through your poetry.
As a fervid daydreamer, the title of this one caught my eye, and after reading and feeling it, I wanted to review it for you.
To begin, because I love daydreaming, and your version of it, with sweeping emotion and vivid imagery, the gripping essences of your easy words simply flowed through me very effectively; so open and honest I feel deeply touched.
My favorite part (though, I truly enjoyed every aspect of this excellent and moving piece) is:

"Love is the foundation that keeps me alive
Without you life cannot be true"

In the hope you''ll not mind a wee bit of well-meant help; in the second of the following two lines, in the spirit of true rhyme and a seamless flow, consider rearranging your syntax, slightly, to accomplish this -- like so:

"I would search far and wide, high and low
For the only love my heartbeats know"

Excellent line-breaks throughout, with a clear separation of thoughts, feelings, emotions. I like how you tied it all together with the repeat of "Figment of my imagination". With concise wording throughout, there is no doubt of your meanings … my kind of poem.
Free Style poetry is amongst my favorite forms, and you've done an exemplary job with yours, Joce!

Well, I guess I should close now, lest I wear out my first time welcome, and with a sincerely warm, "Thank you!" for sharing your promising poetic skills.
May the wonders of your day make you smile all over! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[I'd love a visit from you at my place, too … hint-hint!] ; )

[JoceMaria]

Hi Richard 😊
Thank you for taking the time to read, I appreciate all all the constructive criticism. I will take it on board for my next piece. I am also glad that you enjoyed my piece. I will be visiting your place... :)

[Richard🖌]

You're welcome, Joce,
And, that you'll be using my advice for your next piece won't work, because it was specifically for this one. : )
See ya at my place soon! 🍃