October

It´s so cold in Norway right now.. even if it´s October and not december yet, and so it inspired me to write this

The train came right before the storm

I looked for you on the platform

Even when I knew you wouldn´t show

The sky was gray with strain

Trying to remain, flawless

but everyone knew it was gonna snow

So winter came in October

Orange leaves were frozen over

and I feel my soul getting older

Another fall with a heavy heart

When we spent time apart

The leaves started to fall

When they had landed

You didn´t love me anymore

So winter came in October

Now my heart is frozen over

My way to hope is getting longer

I´m exposed like the trees outside

You were the only reason

I ever loved this season

You stepped on the leaves after they died

Author's Note

Really really unsure about this one.. I just never get happy with it.. is it okay? is there anything missing? feel free to give me pointers if necessary :)

Reviews

[Anita Singh]

The poem is sad and serene at the same time. Though the last line didn't struck the right chord (for me). Overall, good write.

[Johanna]

Yeah.. I like it, but not as much as I want too.. thankyou for your feedback :))

[...]

this one is realy sad. pain and loss . hard moments can something teach us. Marcel Proust said happy moments was not so good like hard moments. cause at hard moments he try make his best and he learn something about him self. again rhyme rhytmus is great. i like it. so i wish you some happy moments at your life.

[Johanna]

all is well :) thankyou :)

[Mona]

I loved the analogy of the weather being compared to what's going on in her heart and absolutely loved the last line "the leaves could not be reapplied". How true. So many people hurt when someone breaks up with them and try so hard to find a way to bring the person back in their life but if they are not a perfect match, it is a fruitless attempt to try to change the other person or yourself to make it work, like reapplying/reattaching fallen leaves on a tree.

[Johanna]

glad you liked it! :) So true all you said.. I liked the last line as well.. so many must have wished it possible to reapply them sometimes

[stars are far]

yeah..i love this month,ihave always wanted to get married in october.. hehe it make me live in the memories of him. but yeah.that was wonderful.. well done

[Surya pradha]

sure, it's okay. thought it was a good, emotional poem.