Be Careful

What do you think?

Be careful when you go to bed tonight

Be careful so our hands don´t touch

We've managed to gather miles between us

and that would just be too much

There´s my side of the bed, and there´s yours

I pretend to be asleep when I hear the creaky floors

There´s my side of the story, and there´s yours

Always gathering space between us with great force

Be careful when you go to bed tonight

So you don´t say I love you in your sleep

Cause that might make it harder for us to fight

If we admit the secrets we're trying to keep

I'll be careful not to rest my head on your chest

Cause then I'd be reminded what it was like

and forget that all this distance is for the best

Be careful when you go to bed tonight

Be careful when you go to bed tonight

You might dream that we have each others heart

You might think I´ll be there when you turn on the light

But remember in this bed we´re miles apart

Reviews

[JB Murray]

nice write. Maybe we've all had the sad opportunity to be in those shoes... the shoes of reverse compromise. Of not wanting to admit of the ever-thinning thread. Reminds me distincly of a great tune by Will Hoge... where the tag line, "we say goodnight, cause we just can't say goodbye". Nice job.

[Johanna]

Thank you, haven´t been here on ages, so sorry for the late reply. Happy I found this :)

[Simon Welsh]

Somewhat reminds me of that Warrant lyric 'This room never felt so big/There's not enough conversation to fill the empty spaces.' You wrote this well.

[Johanna]

Thank you, haven´t been here on ages, so sorry for the late reply, so thank again for kind words :)

[C. Rose]

"You might think I'll be there when you turn on the light" is my favorite line. Great consistent metaphor and repetition. The repetition felt a bit strange in the fifth and fourth to last lines. I expected there to be a twist of some sort and was a little disappointed that the ending doesn't add anything new.

Overall very well done :)

[Johanna]

Thankyou :) Love feedback, I´ll look it over as soon as I can :) What kind of a twist were you thinking of? :) thanks

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the poem a lot.
"Be careful when you go to bed tonight
You might dream that we have each others heart
You might think I´ll be there when you turn on the light
But remember in this bed we´re miles apart"
Wishes and dreams make us want things that are far away from us. I enjoyed the complete poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Johanna]

wow, thankyou for you wonderful feedback Coyote :) best regards

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Eagle Cruagh]

This was exciting to read.
It was beautifully written and
deeply thought out.
Thanks for the pleasure.
------Eagle Cruagh

[Johanna]

thank you so much. your welcome :)
-Johanna

[Kayleen]

heartbreaking. i can relate completely. i am in love with your poetry. i have no criticisms just admiration :P

[Johanna]

haha your wonderful, you´ve made my whole day today, thankyou so much :)

[Kayleen]

lol no problem! ur talented you deserve some recognition!

[Kayleen]

do you mind if i send this as a read request?

[Johanna]

not at all, superawezome :)

[ron]

Its so sad when two people who loved each other once, stopped loving each other.
This is a great poem about when two people stop loving each other.

[Johanna]

thankyou ron :)

[ron]

Your welcome Johanna :)

[I Am Svetlana]

It's very sad when you're so close to someone, yet so far away when they're around. I've gotten used to this feeling with some, but it is what it is. This shows that there are two sides to every person, every relationship. The scary thought of being so attached to another, yet you still want to push away and keep your space. Emotions can run high when couples fight, but it takes two strong people to make it through. Very touching and heartfelt with a hint of romance, along with a warning.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

WOW very moving, romantic, but a sad kind of romantic.
Brilliant piece as always thought, Love the way you write.
Always have always will.
Rhyming is brilliant again, so is the rest of the poem.
Keep writing :)

[stars are far]

That is sort of funny, like you really would resist :P. jjk jjk jk..
so yeah, your writing was very beautifully done. and keep that up :)