7 Days

It´s been raining for seven days

I just want to see the sky

A piece of me is out of place

I watch the clouds as they cry

Nothing matters now

I am going insane

Our sacred vow

Has fallen with the rain

It´s been raining for seven days

I just want to block it out

Standing on the street in a daze

Wishing for a drought

Nothing matters now

Who am I without you

The sky has forgotten how

To paint itself blue

It´s been raining for seven days

I just want to drown in this sea

You have fallen from grace

Was she more beautiful than me?

Reviews

[Avinash]

In your poem nature and personal experience both are speaking the same language. That is the beauty of it, it makes your pain so own that you can not think of nature as a separate individual.

[Johanna]

I love to use nature.. thankyou :)

[Rinzin Samdup]

Go out, get drenched and dance like no boday is watching you...:) well good poem!

[Johanna]

I forgot my umbrella so I already did in a way ;) glad you liked the poem :)

[Leon C]

I thought this was wonderful.

However, the word DAZE jars a bit with me.

I assume you are writing in a second language which is so brilliant. To have a command of a different set of words to express such deep emotions

[Johanna]

Yes I am, norwegian is my first language, but we don´t have that many words and synonyms :)

jars a bit, how can I fix it?

[Leon C]

I'm not a poet just a reader of poetry. So I can feel when something jars but don't necessarily how to fix it.
My only thought was using the word 'drowning' but that doesn't rhyme with days. I don't know if that is an important part of the structure or not.
Sorry I can't help me :-(

[Emily]

I love how you started it!!
Keep up the great work!

[Gee]

Beautifully written.....how many have felt this way..

[Johanna]

thankyou so much

[Gee]

My pleasure

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Beautiful, emotional and sad. I feel lots of heart and emotion in this piece. I liked the way this poem was set out. The rhymes where good to. Don't let anywon get you down. Stay strong. Keep writing.

[Johanna]

thanks, you too

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your welcome :)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Very nicely penned and beautiful way or expressing your thoughts. I really enjoyed the read thanks for sharing...

[Johanna]

Thankyou for reading, happy you liked it

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Welcome friend it was pleasure reading your lines...

[AaronFreitas]

Nice work... damn 7 days of rain! I can't remember the last time we saw 2 days of rain in California. "You have fallen from grace Was she more beautiful than me?" Stay strong, his loss you are too beautiful for him :)

[R Smith]

beautifully sad poem Johanna, very personal writing and has the quality of a song, bravo :)