Elephant

heavy heavy heavy monster sound.

We were in love, once.

Now we merely coexist, our demise had no catalyst.

Like a ship submersed, veering for the rocks

We too submerged, love gurgled and we could not make it stop.

 

We were in love, of sorts.

Or how I like to reminisce, it can’t be worse than this.

Too many sleepless nights, we never recompense

Tear-stained tissues, more fights, and now we reap the consequence.

 

We were in love, perhaps.

No more joy or elation, just knife edged words of tense trepidation

I’m always the monster, the one you religiously despise

You fervently abhor, as I do nothing more, than tease or antagonise.

 

But what is love, I ask?

This sorry moral construct, now we’re well and truly fucked

Just pain rehearsed, replayed, just pain repeated

Love has suppressed, I confess, I’m down and I’m defeated. 

Reviews

[Candace]

Gorgeous. I don't know what to say other than it made me feel something which is rare with me for some reason. I like to think of these feelings sad yet beneficial. Your words help others feel like they are not alone in the world of breaking bonds with those we used to care so deeply for.

[Joe Palmer]

Thank you very much! Yes, beneficial. I think, although painful. It's all part of the healing process, or so I think anyway.

[TL Boehm]

we are well and truly effed. Normally I bypass the stronger language - but in this case - it had to be said. Found this write relatable and well constructed. Well done.

[Leon C]

I loved this. The opening line gripped me and is a story in itself.

Well done for carrying the concept through to the wonderful last line.

Brilliant

[Terry O'Leary]

Good question... the answer???
Good poem!!

[Sophia Beatrice]

This is beautiful, loved the flow of the poem. The words you used were great too, gave me all the feels.

[Joe Palmer]

Thank you. Yeah it's a pretty harrowing account of my experiences with love and romance to date

[Corset]

I find that the world is full of disillusioned love and lovers, you have described the unveiling so well here, how they blame each other for not going that distance, elephants are in almost every room, excellent pen.

[Skye]

The structure of this poem is perfect! I love how it helps you follow the doubt of your love as the relationship ends. Very heartbreaking, and very beautiful.

[Joe Palmer]

Thank you Skye. I just really wanted to get across how the repetitive pattern of love and break-ups can just sometimes feel so futile. I'm glad you like it! x

[Johanna]

Wow.. you got talent, one of the best I´ve read in a long long time. Awezome

[Joe Palmer]

Thank you very much Johanna!

[Simon Welsh]

I like it. That f bomb in the last stanza set it alight; keep them coming.

[Isabel25]

"Our demise had no catalyst" "tense trepidation" "religiously despise"- Three parts I liked the most. You have exceptional command over poetic language my friend. And I really like the title of the poem. I also got reminded of the "elephant in the room" idiom here. Though it doesnt really connect with this poem. Still...

A great piece of work Joe. It progresses really well. I like the refrain in the beginning of each stanza.