If Only I Could

This is the type of thing I'd say to him if only I could...

I wish I could understand what goes on in your mind.  Wish I could figure out just what it is that happens behind those eyes.  What does it mean when those blue eyes twinkle?  What does it mean when you look at me and smile?  Do we both have the same understanding of what it means to want a relationship; what it means to love someone?  Did you in fact ever mean any of the things you said, or did I fall for that stupid trick again?

I am madly in love with you, but how could I ever expect you to know that when you never give me the light of day?  How can I expect you to know, when I have to hide how I feel for the sake of “professionalism”?

When I offered to give your house-keys back to you, you refrained from taking them, saying that it would be better if I had a spare set.  Was that your way of saying that you still want me in your life?

Don’t you know by now that I’ll never leave?!  I live to see your face; live to hear your voice; I live for you!!!!  God, I’d die without you!

It doesn’t matter that I can count the amount of time we’ve spent together on my hands.  It doesn’t matter that we’ve been doing this for over a year now.  It doesn’t matter that we could’ve had a child together.  It doesn’t matter!  All that matters is the way I feel for you now.

Although I ultimately mean nothing to you (I’m just another easy lay), I just want you to know that I love you more than you can ever comprehend; I love you more with every fleeting moment.  I love you even though you may never love me in return…

 

Copyright©JosieWentzel28October 2008