Dream Lover

I had a dream.

He was there, holding me so tight.

I thought I had died.

He was gorgeous,

With blue eyes and a smile

To warm the coldest heart.

Oh I felt so safe in his arms.

He held me;

He cared for me;

He loved me;

He was mine.

Oh how I have longed

To belong to someone

And have them as my own!

 

When morning came,

It took him away.

I lay crying –

Why did he have to go?!

Oh how I wish I could

Have my dream lover back,

So I don’t have to dream alone…

 

Copyright©JosieWentzel02December2008

 

Reviews

[Leah Elisabeth]

"Oh how I wish I could have my dream lover back, so I don;t have to dream alone." That line is brilliant, and I can definitely commiserate. I definitely think you could work more on your flow. Good poetry is like water, it follows the path of least resistance and smoothes everything out in its way. I don't know if that makes sense, but you need to read your poetry out loud and analyze it for feel. Does it grab you in smoothly and pull you on to the meaning or are there fumbles and stumbles along the way. I definitely think you have talent. I wouldn't bother reviewing this if you didn't and your last line IS brilliant. Keep up the good work!

"Why had did he have to go?!"
you could probably take had or did out of this part to make it less confusing,
but apart from that it is perfect.
i can feel the loneliness strongly and clearly
great write
-ST

[An owl on the moon]

Such a beautiful, bittersweet write... To deeply feel loved and to love; to have someone be with you forever... May it not be just a dream... May you wake up one day and find your dream waiting for you...