Splish Splash

~ a rainy spring afternoon fantasy ~

photograph compliments of pinterest

 

 

 

The soft pitter patter of spring rain

is the perfect compliment

to an April afternoon

 

A gift of love

for the beauty of the earth

and a beautiful field of daisies

and a poet who dreams of flying…

 

If I could paint you a rainbow

with the colors of my love

I would….

 

If my heart had wings

 

Yes,

I love the spring rain

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

A simple concept, but one which almost everyone would relate; who doesn't enjoy the early rain? The smell and feeling of petrichor, as the earth lets loose her hidden blood. The only part of this that I think has an issue is the second stanza; you repeat 'and', usually we add more ands than we need and it makes our writing stagnant. In fact, usually we can remove it without even replacing it! I also recommend varying your word choice for 'beauty' since you repeat it as well. And honestly, while beauty is a great idea, the word is so overused that it has lost much of its magic. I recommend trying to use metaphors here to make the sentences more powerful and more unique; after all, the first word people think of when they see a field of flowers is 'beautiful', choose something less predictable. Good Luck!

[MsJewel]

Thank you for sharing some great ideas. I do tend to use the word beauty or beautiful too often. I will definitely try some of your ideas. Have a beautiful day :) Julie

[MsJewel]

oopps...did it again. Have a fabulous day! stunning, lovely....LOL...
:)

[Nusquam Esse]

*cough* Ostentatious Occasions I do say, I mean... Indubitably... :P

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i'm one poet who is content to just fly in my mind....i hate heights...:)

but i too love spring rain...especially in the spring...

the title made me think of bobby darin..."splish splash i was taking a bath" maybe one in the rain?

[MsJewel]

Thanks so much Jacob :) Julie

[Hope]

"A gift of love

for the beauty of the earth

and a beautiful field of daisies

and a poet who dreams of flying…" this just made me feel so fresh !! :D a very well written work ! Great job :) Good day !

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your lovely comment Hope :) Julie

[Hope]

You are most welcome ! :)

[kublakhan27]

If I could paint you a rainbow / with the colors of my love /I would….

I absolutely adore those lines my friend...they are incredibly sweet, as is this entire piece. There's something about rain that just seems to resonate with poets...I don't think I've ever met a poet that didn't like rain, and you've captured that spirit as well as it can be captured here...love this one :)

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your very sweet comment. Have a lovely evening :) Julie

[Patricia Wedel]

Dear Julie... raindrops are falling ...
like blossoms in harmony. May
spring bring colors of love... as your
pen dances across our hearts. Love
your poetry... truly... Pat x

[MsJewel]

Thank you Pat. Hugs, Julie

[stars are far]

That was very nice.. and well portrayed..
well done

[MsJewel]

Thank you :) Julie

[wordman]

yes spring rain bringing life loved the theme of the poem and your feelings inside

[MsJewel]

There is something so lovely about April rain -- perhaps it's the May flowers...Hugs, Julie

[icelandicblue]

Your poem refreshes and drenches us in the beauty of rebirth and renewal:

If I could paint you a rainbow
with the colors of my love
I would….

Love is truly what adds color to the tapestry of life. This is beautiful.

[MsJewel]

You are very kind. Thank you :) julie

[Jen Yarrington]

Spring renews your hopes & dreams!

[MsJewel]

Thank you Jen! :) Julie

[A. Amos]

great write and can't wait to be in spring:)

[MsJewel]

Not much of a winter here in California. Sending you some spring sunshine! :) Julie

[A. Amos]

Thanks you my dear..

[adreamer]

Spring time is nature beautiful gift to all of us, it was a beautiful uplifting little gem you have there. I love this time of year too. :) Larry

[MsJewel]

Thank you Larry Hugs, Julie