1000 dead men

just something to get started with i wrote this about two or so years ago....

I lay 1000 dead men down

1000 dead men from one town

the blood upon the floor, i kill

every drop i swear did spill

 

1000 men that do not speak

1000 men that i do reap

and every man i never met

1000 men i can't forget

 

and if 1000 men should wake

my breath and love each one shall take

my conscious never to be clear

1000 dead men is what i fear

 

1000 dead men haunt my dreams

and still i hear 1000 screams

but wait !... what is this i see?

fair maiden came to rescue me?

 

and if i could just hold her hand

perhaps that moment won't be bland

a second to redeem my soul

once again i would be whole

 

instead she chose to break my hope

and with it take my will to cope

she took her dagger to my chest

she lay 1000 men to rest...

Reviews

[G. Cedillo]

interesting iece -- i think the rhyme gets in the way sometimes, i'm never a big fan of rhyme, but you do use it in some fun cool ways.
cool line:
"and every man i never met

1000 men i can't forget" --->says a lot, i think, and many of us can relate

thanks for sharing,.
.g

[Drifter]

This reminded me of a nursery rhyme or even a prayer. I enjoyed it and found it quite witty. Very dark, but well done.

[Jason]

Dark, and pure genius writing. One of my favorites I have read. Keep up the great work!!

[Greg Skura]

Nice poem! i love the way you put yourself in the shoes of the killer and how you bring the piece full circle with the maiden freeing you from your own conscience! Well Done!

[visions of doom]

tis a sweet poem ye have written here , oozes originality and tells an easy to follow stoty , poetry should always be like this , well done , i really enjoyed it , be proud of yourself .

[Serend1p1ty]

This is beautiful love.
Did you read it to me once, cause it really sounds familiar?
Anyways, the rhyming, the words, the emotions, all so great.
The ending I especially liked.
It goes against the stereotypes, so original.

Yours truly,
cloud6

[Flow~]

The reaper gets reaped by a maiden. I really like that! very nice twist to your ending and it shows us that we all have to face and be held accountable for the things we chose to do to others. This was an awesome write, loved it~

[deeps]

Wow! This is amazing! I mean that
You have talent.
You can really capture the eye and you have with this write.
But it only really takes one man to start and how ever many to take the fall.
I like this speaks of truth.