Hearts of lions

Soft ever lasting friction of soft skin

blazeing and moving across the off white sheets

breathing lightly never heard

pin droping sounds that takes your every breath away

 

Two of a kind, in blissfull state

He can touch her hair...

and it will feel like silk

 

She can touch his shoulder blades

and it will  feel like feathers

tempted to grab in a fist and hold on to them

 

Feathers wont fly away if you hold em tight enough

to feel it rub against your palm

 

Lips match, so dearly, tastefully

hers like sweet candy

his like tasteing heavens clouds

 

drenched in raindrops,

cold but heart warming breaths upon his neck

 

the hearts of lions begin to crash

slowly, they drift in a dream

content eyes flutter

 

almost picture perfect.

Reviews

[Aven]

"She can touch his shoulder blades
and it will feel like feathers
tempted to grab in a fist and hold on to them."

These were my favorite lines, such captivating imagery. A powerful image, etched to the eye, forever captured by the imagination.

I like this poem in many ways but feel that the ending is a little redundant, and takes away from the overall effect of your images in the poem. The ending feels like an explanation of everything you just told us. You have to assume the reader is smarter than the work at this point. Otherwise your poem had some nice images; a great start at a sensual love poem.

[Moonflower]

I love the last stanza ;)

[Tony]

Really liked all the imagery you create yet the fourth line of the first stanza really stood out for me-- made me think about how every little thing is substantially enhanced. Know what I mean. Oh yes, the soft or delicate language you used to create this sensual write made for an engaging and satisfying read-- that really shows your poetic prowness.
Makosica

[Deepayan]

I really liked the verses. It painted a sublimal romance.

[Lexi Nicole]

Beautiful imagery and concept, however there are parts where it's a little rough. I think you need to use a little more punctuation and try to be a little bit more specific in certain parts of your writing. There are placing here where it's breathtaking how gorgeous it's written, and then other parts where I wasn't entirely sure what you were trying to say. Very nice piece, but I feel if it was cleaned up a little it would be that much better. Very nice work, though, and your imagery is just fantastic! :)

[Daniel Haupt]

I touches something inside deeply, like a sweet dream.

[.]

...you painted some great images in this piece:-)

"the hearts of lions begin to crash
slowly, they drift in a dream
content eyes flutter

almost picture perfect."

...This is a wonderful poem:-)

james:-)