Tempest of the Mind

Tempest of the Mind

Stiff blankets of solitude

rest upon the skeleton of the lone fool,

Defaced into a dull stone: 

Bare, 

vacant 

and unreadable

Judgments of himself,

are unclear by fabrications of 

dreams resistant to reality

Hollow winds of menacing remarks

demoralize him from the outside world

Submerged chin-deep

in tricks of the psyche:

Obscurity,

bleak

and insane

Daunting outsides

do not frighten him

His greatest fear dwells distant 

within the tempest of the mind.

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

There's a certain reflective voice...
as I read these lines of this verse...
I do like the wholeness of the write...
Also believe you can add more effectiveness...
in your word structure...
to give this read all its worth...

example:

Stiff blankets of solitude
rest upon the skeleton of the lone fool
Defaced into a dull stone:
Bare,
vacant
and unreadable
Judgments of himself,
unclear by fabrications of dreams
resistant to reality
Hollow winds of menacing remarks
demoralize him from the outside world
Submerged chin-deep
in the tricks of his psyche
Daunting outsides
do not frighten him
The greatest fear dwells
distant within the tempest of his mind.

of course, that was just an example...
the effectiveness of lines speaking...
and grabs the reader in...

[Anna]

I think that's a great idea, I felt like that format was much more compelling. Thank you, I'll be editing it shortly!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing use of words. You said a lot using strong and powerful sentences. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Anna]

Thank you for your time