Sonnet #2

A sonnet. :)

Ancient Justice with translucent blindfold,

frozen in time by gorgoneion gaze,

your power derives from what you now hold:

unbalanced scales with a still sharpened blade.

A man with no shoes walks by with a hitch.

His arms are covered in eagle tattoos.

He reeks of cheap vodka; gives a quick twitch

and softly hums 'bout the red, white and blue.

A man in a suit with gold-lined pockets

drives his new Audi down that very street.

His collar is stained with lipstick secrets.

but for the right price, none know that he cheats.

     In the circle of life, Death shall prevail.

     He'll keep the blade sharp but balance the scale.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think. What works/doesn't work/where I can improve/etc. I am looking to improve and take nothing personally. Thank you!

Reviews

[The Old Ashes]

I agree that it has a very unique and good balance. I am not one to just praise, I try to give constructive criticism but I can honestly say that I think this should be just left the way it is.
At first I was a little lost, but as I continued on the image built, actually creating a nicer effect.
Great Veteran's Day poem, thank you for sharing it with us.
Welcome to Writers Cafe.

[Tate Morgan]

I think the story is told well.Personally I like rhyming rhythmic poetry A little bit more To add a melody to the flow ,
But i think you did well

[.]

I love the sonnet ...this is interesting and gritty..

[Nobody.]

another good one. love the Gorgon reference, eagle tattoed arms, cheap vodka, stained color, life/death circle bit. Goog imagery. Really brings it to life. I know little about sonnets...but, I do know this is good poety.

cheers!

[koty bell]

beast man spoken like a true poet!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jessica Harmony]

"His collar is stained with lipstick secrets. But for the right price, none know that he cheats." I love that line i wish i'd written it myself. The rhythm of the lines is kinda strange but it's a good poem.

[Robin]

my only suggestion is maybe a title as I find them a key piece in intent of the poem.

here though you , the image is as sharp as the blade you speak off , Power of wealth tipping the scales of a hedonistic world ~ balance restored in the end

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I think you balanced it perfectly and got the thought behind it across clearly and effectively through the dual nuances of imagery~
which imagery by the way is extremely moving and poignant~

[deeps]

I enjoyed this write I really enjoyed this part,

"A man with no shoes walks by with a hitch.
His arms are covered in eagle tattoos.
He reeks of cheap vodka; gives a quick twitch"

This is a very well written write.