Dusk/Dawn

Two poems written in Haiku form without the true haiku spirit...

Dusk

Light's last cling to life
As the Earth engulfs the Sun.
Night shall soon begin.

Dawn

Darkness is deepest
Just before the break of light
Pierces through the night.

Author's Note

Two Haiku, kinda. They are in the right form, but not really the right style. Oh well. haha. What do you think?

Reviews

[C.]

Like the format, divvying it up into two segments. I get the feeling it needs a little more significance, though... something beyond just the descriptions of Nature. Maybe there could be something symbolic thrown in? Loved the short lines and smaller word-choice, though. Very much my style.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

well written~both~ gives good imagery~

[Crowley]

I like when shorty's like this are posted together for a play off of one another, a little dance of light here. I liked them both.

[Robin]

great ~ the short forms are an art

[koty bell]

don't know what to say pretty good