Woman

A woman
waits in line
behind two kids
at the corner 7/11.

She watches them
take their candy,
get on their bikes,
and ride away.

She sets her Ramen
and box of antacids
on the counter

and half smiles
at the middle-aged
high school drop out.

Without making eye contact,
he tells her:
“$5.79”

She hands him the last
of her cash

and as he opens the drawer,
she fumbles under her coat
and her trembling hand
pulls out the gun.

Reviews

[Green]

Incredibly accurate and well done.

[Desert Dreamer]

So sad that so many people are getting desperate, this is very real, too real...great poetry...I hate this culture sometimes, well, more and more every day, everyone should have food to eat and a home to live in no matter how they live.

[Joshua Smit]

wow, i really love the way the endings of your poems come so unexpected and hit so hard :D

[Sweets]

I just love poems that contain stories ._.
This is great. It's beautiful how you switched the moods in here.
Nicely done!

[Coyote Poetry]

World is getting harder. Desperate times changes how we look at people. Old world need a helping hand. This poem is already common. A very strong poem with a story of desperation. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Jordan]

I was totally on board until the last stanza. It was nice to glimpse into these people's lives at a particularly mundane moment, but the twist at the end felt gimmicky and kind of killed the awesome bleak mood you had created. The only other thing was that rhythmically, it kind of plodded along. All of the stanzas were about the same length and were usually a complete thought.

[Ruth]

WOW! Now this is a hit! Make you realise that there are still surprises in the world!
Excellent hon
xx

[.]

you always have a narrative in your poems ...this was great..the mundane ending with a what next..clever..