Awaiting Ruins

The minutes turned into hours

Hours into days, days into months

And months into years

Eons slipped by while she kept waiting

For nothing but a glimpse of him

Her eyes were empty and dry now

But a well was accumulated of her tears

Brimming and dripping droplets of blood

Author's Note

Originally, written for a writing challenge by Bear.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Vinay]

Great piece! A little punctuation could do! Well written Jyoti!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you! :)

[Gaurav Bhattacharya]

Waiting can be painful and you've expressed this very well here. Well done Jyoti. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Deepak Belbase]

whenever it comes to me i simply wrote the things that i think i can do or what i intend to do(sometimes when i passed through many sleepless nights)... but reality is always different that the real! But this is a madness and it's real. Can you tell the shakespear to write again! his 'sign no more laddies!'... A well crafted piece but this time it's different than waiting... this is called suffering... only ustad nurat fateh ali khan can mention this in his rog...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Imperfections and incompleteness are life.
Thank you for your insightful review.

[Eliot Knight]

Short and precise, gets the feeling across. It's not an error but I think the word 'passed' is an ill fit here, change it if you like, 'turned', 'became' (though here you would have to change the 'into' as well), etc. All in all a well written piece. I like it.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for the helpful review. I changed 'passed' into 'turned'.
:)

[Stan Lee]

Waiting with no explanation can be more painful than being dumped hard and fast. Great poem Jyoti. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

True..
Thanks for the kind words, Andrea!

[PoeticChico]

It reminds me of an old song i use to like very much. Nice imagery, from beginning to end.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Alex!

[AaronFreitas]

Nice work Jyoti! I like the creativity :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you! :)

[Sudeep Mishra]

What my mouth spelt were already written by williard,Tks and puskar.
And yes I do liked the picture which reflected all the emotions perfectly.
Nicely done.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much, Sudeep.

[Insight "MH"]

This shows us how dwelling on the past destroys our future and hope for a better life. The waiting in this poem is like a rope pulling us back, till we are in a state where there is no coming back to our normal selves.

Insight.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Yes you got that spot on, friend.
Thank you for your kind review.

[Insight "MH"]

You are welcome my dear friend.

[aj sesinyi]

Very short and straight to the point.i know how it feels to wait for someone who doesn't pitch up.i feel the emotions that go along with the poem,very well-written

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for stopping by. I really appreciate it.