Fragment; Consider Reversing.

So this is a peice of work i done for Class. It's a fragment, or a framework story.

Fragment; Consider Reversing.

 

The counter of the coffee shop table reflected in the early afternoon sunlight and I had to squint to see the thin gold band that was laying on the napkin next to my coffee cup. It was a lonely feeling, you know. Being left behind. I didn’t know which direction my life was heading in now, but what I did know that I wasn’t going in the direction that we had marked on the map.

            I spin the piece of metal and watch in rapt fascination as a fantastic shimmer fell upon the little shop, when I saw it out of the corner of my eye. There is a little boy, no more than four years old, playing in the sandpit across the street. His chubby little cheeks are pinked by the sun and dimpled with the laughter that is coming in bursts. Not that I can hear his laughter, but I can see it. The way his shoulders are shaking as his podgy little fists clutch onto the shovel he’s using to build his little fort. Or his castle, maybe. A woman is watching over him from the bench as he keeps on working, the sand sticking to his little yellow t-shirt as he laughs again, a shared joke between the pair, perhaps. But he’s focusing again, oblivious to the world around him.

           The ring stops spinning, like my entire world has, leaving me feeling dizzy. The reflection from the ring is gone but little boy is still laughing away to himself. His little life is continuing as though nothing has happened. An innocence like that is something only a child can have, something that I miss in times like these.

Author's Note

As i said, this is work done for class. Any feedback is greatly appriciated.

Reviews

[ZakLeonRamsey]

This is quite alright, Katrina Crickett. The descriptions that you write on this piece of work is perfect and accurately detailed. I'm a beginner on this website looking for people new as well. I may not be as professional as others, but from my perspective, this is the most accurately detailed work I've ever read, I think your details are more accurate than mine, Katrina. (^o^) In conclusion, keep it up.