Trading Skins

The wind whisked around her like an electric mixer in a bowl. Only there was less of a mess, and more joy. Tabitha savored the patchwork of trees below the edge of her feet. The rush baking inside of her drowned out the instructor’s attempts to convey check-ins and protocols. All she could think about was the space she was going to dive in, and the weightlessness that will swallow her whole. 

Once the instructor gave the okay, she dived. She dived into the spacious arms of gravity and silence. Here she could leave behind all obligations to her children and husband. Here she was not a wife or a mother, but she was Tabitha- brave, wild, and alive. There was space for her to just exist. 

During her descent, she aimed for a clearing up ahead with a path snaking through the trees. Suddenly, a speck of green caught her attention. It glinted in the dying sunlight. Tabitha landed on her feet. The leaves and pine needles crunched beneath her as a mist rose and slithered along the forest floor. One of the bushes rattled as a green substance spilled from below like a puddle of blood. 

A shiver skittered down her spine as the goo curled and gurgled as if alive. Tabitha stumbled backwards. A thin tendril sprouted from the substance, and grabbed her foot. She struggled against it, trying to break into a run. 

Whispers echoed in her ears. She panted. The path before her twisted and warped as if it were merely an illusion. The tendrils pushed on the ground, and the goo spat out a striking woman. Tabitha squinted at her, recognizing the soft, brown eyes and the shape of her angular jaw. 

The double crawled closer as Tabitha screamed and struggled harder. The green goo dripped from the corners of her lips and eyes. “What’s wrong?”  her doppelgänger said. “Didn’t you want a break?” 

The doppelgänger neared her face, and Tabitha could smell something akin to rotting flesh. The goo wrapped around Tabitha’s neck like chains. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of them- your children, your husband,” said the doppelgänger as its smile stretched way too wide, revealing rows and rows of jagged teeth. 

Tabitha’s vision blurred as consciousness slipped from her. The goo covered her in a pulsing, mucous-like cocoon. The creature stood tall, brushed off all traces of the goo, and savored the warm wear of human flesh. “Time to go home,” it purred. With one last glance at the cocoon, she stepped forward.

Reviews

[Sam-Stafford]

I really like the ideas here, and the concept is creepy. It's well written too, the prose is pretty clean and compelling. I think the effect you were going for is realised.

I also write horror, and I recognise in this some really good horror ideas. I particularly like the idea of the 'monster' being a reflection of the main character, and that it has a clear motive. I think all that is really good and the reveal is nice too.

What I would suggest, and only take my advice if you feel it is valuable, is to subtly seed unease slightly earlier, something she feels is wrong as it feels quite sudden when she lands and there is this goo (which is great, but could she sense something off just a little earlier?). It also took two reads of the beginning to understand exactly what was happening at each stage, the sequence, and perhaps you could ground what she is feeling with more exact sensations? That is where I think you could tune this evening more in further drafts if that's something you plan to do.

Anyway I thought overall, especially once the horror element is revealed, this was effective for a piece of very short fiction. I look forward to reading more. Thank you for sharing this!

[RKB]

Thank you for your feedback! I'm always happy to meet another horror writer.