Neighbors

Never date your neighbors

Neighbors

 

 

I can remember although I don’t want to.

It’s that serious I mean it,

Not ever.

 

Slamming the door feeling the air snarling like the fire I thought I was breathing.

 

Why her?

 

Throwing everything that was in my way, fists hitting heavy on hard wood floors and porcelain sinks.

 

Vomit and cry.

 

Screaming and shrieking, from all the burred steel fragments flowing through my tiny veins.

 

Mirrors are evil.

 

I stared at my own reflection.  I didn’t see myself only a version of what you had made me, a creative diversion.

 

I cursed you, I cursed her, I cursed my cursed life.

 

Am I f*****g dying?

 

The rocking double vision, the thought of her headboard behind mine knocking,

You thrusting.

 

I’m stopping.

 

I wanted to run.

Dig the drums, out of my ears.

Hand you my eyes, because I can’t stop all these cries.

 

What have you done?

 

Do you know how it feels to be held, to be coaxed, to be thinking that you knew, you were in my soul?

I’ve lost control of my heart and mind.

 

Vanished.

 

Lights went out.

Screams turn to sobs.

Ears ringing,

Block out hearing,

You f*****g,

Or laughing,

I don’t look anywhere because everywhere there is nothing.

 

I know you‘re listening.

You’re so cold.

My heart you f*****g broke.

Take responsibility, oh my God I need some help.

Take something from me!

 

Numb Longing.

 

Rage floods, still I don’t budge,

From this bed.

Stinging resentment keeps me,

Hanging on,

Hoping you were different.

 

Days, weeks, months.

 

Time will never right your wrong.

You never apologized to me.

My devastating loss should have made it easier to hate you,

Or cope with,…

 

Keep it up.

 

All the late night emails.

I just want to use you.

Let me help you.

Ya, undress you,

Park down the street,

Don't you trust me?

Everything will get better baby it will be okay.

 

You know what,

 

F**k you and the games you play.

So bold and brazen.

It's my neighbor, and yours too you are f*****g.

I see her everyday, but you're a robot walking, laughing right past me crying.

 

Never admitting.

 

Faults flaws and mistakes keep me,

Bitter and jaded forever.

Trapped hopeless this way.

 

Please don't save me.

I’m not blind or loving,

You anymore.

 

Stupid?

 

Maybe.

 

KS 2012

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Author's Note

(spoken word poem so some grammar/punctuation may seem off thanx!)

Reviews

[John Holmes]

This creates such beautiful imagery! like wow! i am truly impressed, at first I was cautious of this piece, but i found my self engrossed, speaking the emotion with her, i felt used and abused, cheated and wronged. More than anything I felt bitterness and anger. This is a really powerful piece and I found no flaw in it.

I must commemorate especially:

"I know you‘re listening.
You’re so cold.
My heart you f*****g broke.
Take responsibility, oh my God I need some help.
Take something from me!

Numb Longing.

Rage floods, still I don’t budge,
From this bed.
Stinging resentment keeps me,
Hanging on,
Hoping you were different."

It is just so powerful! well done.

[K.S.78]

Thank you for your review its a huge compliment! Can I ask why you were cautious? Just curious lol nevertheless thanks! :)

[Shay]

I love the emotion and imagery, it bring such energy to piece. I felt the speaker and as I read it felt more and more prominent in my own mind and felt that much more strongly in my heart. this is wonderful I loved it

[Jazmin-Ruby]

Things not to do:
1.) date my neighbor.

Things to do:
2.) read more from K.S.78.
Wow! This was amazing.

[K.S.78]

Haha lol Thank you for the wonderfully clever compliment :)

[Patrick O'Neil]

This is a very raw, and highly emotional write. And for that situation it should be exactly that, no need adjust grammar/punctuation as you let emotion and pain set the rhyme and rhythm. Love the use of strong words and the inner look at self blame ("Mirrors are evil. I stared at my own reflection.") You basically go through all the steps of a loss, denial, anger,self blame, regret and acceptance (" I’m not blind or loving, You anymore."). Still you leave forgiveness out ("Maybe.").. I think it should be like that..to leave something open for the audience to linger on, and think. Great write indeed.

[K.S.78]

I know this is going to sound crazy but I never thought about the five stages of grief but I like how you brought it up because I was going through grief that is for sure and I know those stages well :/ Thank you for the insightful review much appreciated!

[Patrick O'Neil]

It is tragic that such things can happen to a person. However you have taken control for that situation by writing a beautiful poem. You are very welcome.

[Maheep Singh Rathore]

its fabulous :)

[K.S.78]

Thank you!

[LaVonneTheLovely]

OH MY GOD. this part: The rocking double vision, the thought of her headboard behind mine knocking,

You thrusting.



I’m stopping.



I wanted to run.

Dig the drums, out of my ears.

Hand you my eyes, because I can’t stop all these cries.

SO painful to read. I hope to god this poem wasn't written based on a true life experience. very graphic. powerful images! great job K!

[K.S.78]

Sadly it was :/ Dont date your neighbor, and if you do make sure he's not doing the other neighbor too! lol (I can laugh at my own pain right?) Lol Thank you for your review!

[LaVonneTheLovely]

well it's definitely still an amazing poem and my heart goes out to you! and you're very very welcome!